percussionfate

2008-12-23T21:08:00.002+08:00

found a blogskin which i love so much.
but cant be used.
damn.

live until love is found, or love's gona get u down.

2008-12-23T10:08:00.003+08:00

I m SOOO tempted to have my blogskin changed &
I need a haircut.

2008-12-14T20:52:00.002+08:00

i feel lyk vomittin.
NO,
i feel lyk the vomit itself cos i feel disgusted.
as in i m bein plagued by tis disgusting feeling..
n i tink its hintin to me tt i m ...

FALLING SICK.
oh my holy macaroni.
i cant fall sick now. :((
not at such untimely time?
arh my eng is hopeless.
nvm.i shall rest early tonight.

n i ought to bang my head on the wall since i cant even finish alkanes tutorial in one day.
vera ho is a small skinny lazy bum.
ok..wait for my return tml.
BAH.

i need to find khakis to study wif me and motivate me.
oh my goodness.

TILL THEN!

BYE.cos i cant stop saying it.

ADDICTION

2008-12-14T16:01:00.003+08:00

OKAY.
i m done wif the checklist.
i m blog hopping and facebook hopping.
ADDICTION.

omg.shut up vera.
beta go do my work,so tt i can enjoy nex wk cos i so deserve it.
BAH.

i m so bored till i can blog a million times in a day.
arh crap.

2008-12-14T14:22:00.002+08:00

GOODIE,i got the links done.
but i m sure there r loads more to be added.
BUT.. one step at a time. =]

We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's
Supposed to happen and we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

hoohoo, hw true.
anywae,nex wk shall b a really busy week since..
there is..
1) GWYNNA's bday!
2) friends coming back from melbourne!
3) preparations for band fest concert!
4) XMAS PARTAYE!
5) CONCERT!

OVERWHELMED.
HAH.

i m startin to count down to tml since tml shall b such a happy day!
i tink i m even more excited for GWY than she shuld b.
i shall add a countdown timer for her bday if i can find one.

tml shall b busy too cos gt things to do for band.
QM stuffs agn.
HAI.
nvm,at least i gt my purple ribbons for band.
WOOHOO!GREAT.
i cant wait for tml.
shall compress my stuffs to bring tml.
if nt i will look lyk some sua ku pok.
for now..i shall leave here to go design the QM's checklist.
WOOHOO.

baby, feature me, take me.
cos i fell in love with cameras =]

2008-12-13T20:57:00.001+08:00

You walked with me,
Footprints in the sand,
And helped me understand,
Where I'm going,
You walked with me,
When I was all alone,
With so much unknown,
Along the way,
Then I heard you say,

I promise you, I'm always there,
When your heart is filled with sorrow, And despair,
I'll carry you When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

I see my life flash across the sky,
So many times have I been so afraid.
And just when I, I thought I lost my way,
You gave me strength to carry on, That's when you say,

I promise you I'm always there
When your heart is filled With sorrow and despair Oh,
I'll carry you When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand.

When I'm with you, Well I know you've been there,
And I can feel you when you say,

I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled
With sadness and despair
I'll carry you when you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand.

When your heart is full ofSadness and despair,
I'll carry you when you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand.

When it hurts to look back at the beautiful memories& know tt u cant relive it

2008-12-13T16:19:00.008+08:00

well well.

im stil feelin the same as yday.

feel lyk_______..

y cant i jus b happy or mayb happier than wad im feelin nw..?

tis morn, a pink rectangular box stared at me and i felt as though it was asking me to hold it.

so i gave in to temptation, i not only held it but opened it as well.

inside contains memories of my HK buddies as well as my stay in HK.

gifts from many of them.

i told myself countless of times tt wif internet,email,msn,webcam n whatsoever.

i culd easily contact them anywhere,anytime.

BUT.

i can no longer sense their presence now.

tts very sad.

_______...
i shall wait till when mum comes back wif my cam before i start uploadin more of the pics.

presenting to u..e SRGCE HK team at hotel lobby early in the morning.

at adriana's hse during homevisit n wif doggy-BiBi(bi zai)

group 5& 6 on trekking day.not forgetting the 2 blind mices-jeff n greg at the back.

SRGCE HK team on the las night at 21st storey of hotel past midnight aft reflections.

more to upload at a ltr date.

i jus came to realise tt i left 1 more mth b4 sch reopens...

n my hw are still undone.

plus all the band fest..

oh crap.

anyway,

2008 JC & Polytechnic Band Festival

Concert Date: 21 Dec 2008

Concert Time: 5 pm to 7.30pm.

Concert Venue: Esplanade Concert Hall

Tickets: priced at $13 & $16

interested,jus inform me.

A Journey of Faith& Endurance

2008-12-13T00:43:00.010+08:00

changed my bloggie's skin.
i finally switched to sth really simple.
tt's unlyk me i guess.
anyhow..
jus feel real tired nw.

was blog hopping jus nw.
chance upon owen's blog n saw e tkband's concert pics.
started to tink of many stuffs.

brother love,sister love, senior love, junior love.
n whatever love could be found there.
love there was irreplaceable.
as years pass,we see new faces, new smiles.
n we often tink, if there culd only be one day when we can all return n be tt one big family agn wit countless members n undying love, care n concern for each and everyone.

i really do miss tkband.
everyone does.
esp those who hv alrdy graduated.
its jus lyk,we can tink of the past but we cant live in it.
only in tis way can we move on.
then y do ppl wish for time machines..

anyway,i m really tired nw.
shall blog abit more before i go to my emo land.
i jus came back fr HK a few days ago.
i still cant get used to the life here in spore.
somehow.
jus feel so lax here in spore.
no sense of urgency.

well..at least i learnt many things in jus tt 6 days in HK.
shall blog more bout those days when i feel better physically n emotionally.
i guess i hv too many things inside me n tt every passing day is jus too much for me to take.
i need to vent, vent,vent.

i need someone to bring me to a faraway place to fly a kite.
why didnt i make 17 wishes tt time?, tell me its still nt too late.

2008-11-13T17:59:00.002+08:00

changed blog song.
tink i crave for sad,emo yet meaningful songs now.
nt sure whyy..
but that's hw i feel huh.
i m itching to change my blogskin..
BUT..
lazy to go find plus i use tis skin for less than a mth?
arh..super fickle-minded.

hven been feelin really well for the past few days.
SIGH.
hd tummy ache since yday.
can faint.
but luckily my endurance level quite high i guess though i hate pain.
i mean..
who loves pain?
-.-''

i REALLY NEED to go return the Great eastern timing chip.
supposed to return by 7 nov.
but today is lyk..13 nov?
oh crap.
i m dead.
argh stupid.
if only i could attend the run tt time.

i hv 2 and a half out of 8 essays to complete today.
which is so impossible.
guess i just goin to hand up whatever i have tml to teacher.
ok bye la.
i go rest then gt dinner ltr..
sian..

i want $$.
tis wkend shall be very busy.
got outdoor pe and econs essays n hk stuffs.
oh man.
then nex wk need to take flu jab.
nvm..can go shopping nex wk.
hopefully i can get some $.

2008-11-08T22:09:00.009+08:00

and not forgetting the very own SR HK team!

the people are the same few cos didnt hv the chance to go arnd cam-whoring too much so yea =D.

the ppl who went to rackee the southern ridges.
sorry for my crude position.

endorsing for sunkist's oranges.hahas

deprived childhood.

yay!at henderson waves!

the super bitchy and me.

team 3!

limin and me at vivo' s escalator!

forced to cam-whore.

me and limin at spore discovery centre.

mimicking the display!

erm hem.r we beta than them?

us agn!

erm us agn!

sorry its us agn!

still us.

failed attempt 1

failed attempt 2 which was erm worst!

spore's nex top modelS!anyone?

we wanted to fly.

in the museum..

me the empress!MUAHAHA.

cam-whore in the museum.

again us!

surprisingly he still has some followers.

at nlb.

well..pics are all uploaded.

tt's all i hv.

i love them all =D

cya.

2008-11-08T21:42:00.008+08:00

the last day wit the HK students.

pics taken at ecp mac and of course t3.
the very heavy-hearted day i can say.
pardon our red eyes.

wit elmo outside ecp macs.

wit one of the teachers from HK.

wit another teacher from HK.

wit the tour guide from HK.

the usual khakis.

me and FRANCIS!

CLARA, me, FRANCIS and limin!

me and STEPH.

me and THEODORA

me, FRANCIS, px and cat.

limin, hl, CECILY and me.

i love this shot the most!

me and my dear buddy -FRANCIS!

HAYLEY, limin and me.

plus ADRIANA!

i love this elmo alot!

cant bear to let her go!

limin, FRANCIS and me.

jq, limin, FRANCIS, me, HAYLEY, px and CLARA.

STEPH, limin, HAYLEY and me!

FRANCIS's buddies!

combined.

me and TIFFANY!

everyone combined.

2008-11-08T17:15:00.013+08:00

the third day wif hk students!
quite tired of typing the captions for each photo.
so just go see la huh.
hahas.

having brunch in SR canteen.
ordered mainly malay food for them cos it was rather unique i guess.
like roti john, mee soto, samosa, curry puff, baked potato, bandung and both hot and cold chocolate.

cam-whoring at erm spore museum's toilet >.<
cam-whoring AGN.

from left to right" me, HAYLEY and limin.

sprawled on the wall.

failed attempt 1

failed attempt 2

from left to right: JOEY, limin, TIFFANY, me and lastly FRANCIS on top!

me and TIFFANY

left to right: limin, jq, CECILY! and me. (backdrop so fake)

at asian civilisation museum.

left to right: hl, me, FRANCIS, CLARA,limin, HAYLEY and jq at the top.

at acm agn.

me and STEPHANIE!

acm agn.

combined shot.

mine, FRANCIS, CLARA and HAYLEY!

outside acm.

me and ADRIANA the elmo! at national lib (nlb)

me and MAISIE!at nlb.

me and limin wit MAISIE.

me wit CECILY and ADRIANA!

me and FRANCIS!

me and FRANCIS agn!

2008-11-08T16:21:00.011+08:00

as what you have seen or will be seeing ltr are actually a few photos taken on the first day wif the HK students.

its very little.

but as the days past.

the no. of photos taken tripled!

that shows the progress of our bond as well as our frenship!

so here are the pics taken on the 2nd day!

from left to right: MEGAN, JOYCE, HAYLEY, limin, yan ping and me.

on the way down mount faber if i m nt wrong.

P.S- i bet someone will steal this photo. hahas.

from left to right: gg, HAYLEY, FRANCIS, me, limin and JOYCE.

at the top of mount faber.

from top left to bottom right: gg, me, limin, FRANCIS, JOYCE and HAYLEY.

on mount faber.

MEGAN and me.

on mount faber.

top row down from left to right: jq, gg, xy, BOWIE, wh, JOEY, me, CLARA, MAISIE, ADRIANA, val, angeline, cherilyn, hl and CECILY.
at vivo.

from left to right: limin, HAYLEY, FRANCIS and me!

at spore discovery centre mimicking the display.

team 3 at spore discovery centre entrance, "celebrating x'mas"!

jq and shaun at a very out-of-the-place position.

followed by erm hsm cast. LOL.

n from left to right: ADRIANA, jeffery, FRANCIS, me, limin and shafie.

so..basically, we went trekking, vivo and spore discovery centre on the 2nd day.

2008-11-08T15:44:00.010+08:00

here are the pics taken on the 1st day when we met the HK students which was actually their 2nd day in spore. "all thanks" to OP.

from left to right: gg, FRANCIS, me, HAYLEY and limin.
team 3's first meeting in LT4

from left to right: me, ADRIANA-the elmo! and gg.
college dance's dancing partners^^

from left to right: gg, FRANCIS and me
outside malay heritage centre at arab street.

from top left to bottom right: me, FRANCIS, limin and HAYLEY
cam-whoring on the bus towards little india if i m nt wrong.

so TADA~.
tt's all for the 1st day!
many more to come!

2008-11-08T15:09:00.003+08:00

HK students left.
HK matters have now come to a standstill.
except tt i still gotta do reflections for the past 5 days.
URGH.
its ok since things will be reactivated in 3wks time.
i m alrdy missing my buddy francis and all the other girls. =(
i guess they were happy to go home since spore was quite boring to them,
except for the part where we were bonding and cam-whoring. (even in the museums -.-')

i shall upload the pics at a ltr time cos nt using my acc now.
anyway i feel bad tt i didnt really give francis anythg which is only from me.
only bought her a teddy bear which was shared wif 3 others.
well..to not sound so naggy here, i shall sum up wad i shall say in a few more words and let pics do the talking.

the past 5 days was an experience i hv nv experienced b4 and shall be etched in my mind forever,
for countless frenships are forged.
and here's many thanks to the SR HK team as well as SHCC HK team.
=)

2008-10-19T21:56:00.003+08:00

AWWW.
i didnt blog for VERY VERY long.
didnt blog bout my bday n e other boring days of my life which was
OH-SO occupied by pw.
i swear pw sucks.
ok.
not to say pw is really bad.
cos it occupies me and it gave me a grp of great pw mates.
though misunderstandings happen n work not distributed equally.
the bond tt we have is unbreakable by anyone else.
aww so touching.
moving on.

oh man.
i lost weight.
n dun say tt i look haggard n small n weak when u see me.
cos i will CRY CRY CRY.
though i m feelin much better now,
i keep hvin giddy spells.
dunno why.

n i m running out of medicine for giddiness.
wanted to start training for the great eastern run but hw can i when i m lyk still sick?
dun understand y i m feelin much beta but still hven recover.
someone tel me why why why.
i guess i beta start slow.
lyk 2km everyday.
but its really hard to squeeze in a time to go runnin when everyday equals to pw, chi a levels preparatn n hk matters.
HMM.
shall see how.

anyway,greg owes me a BIG favour.
cos he is goin hk.
greg,u WATCH OUT.
if u dun return me a favour.
u suffer cos there's karma.
WOOHOO.

ok.
max met wif an accident.
for more info,pls visit his blog.
thank you.
hahas.
anyway,wishin him an early recovery!

ok i beta go.

shall upload other pics some other time.

shall go cut my nails too.

so long.

they r as long as dracula's fangs.

ok i was kidding.

did i tell ya i lost 2kg.

did i tell ya my nights these days were full of sweet dreams?

2008-10-05T07:40:00.003+08:00

GOOD MORNING!

anyway,forget bout my previous post.

tt was foolish of me.

i m awake at such unearthly hours cos i m goin swimmin!

nt alone..

but wif meatball n xue er.

our main aim is to teach xue er hw to swim so tt she can pass her test tis comin wed for chiangmai.

wanted to ask e rest of e girls to go but they alrdy went swimmin yday so i guess they will b rather tired.

so..

await for my return tml!

i will upload pics of jo's bday bbq n announce tt xue er has successfully learn hw to swim!

YAY!

bye ppl!

did i tell ya i love swimmin.

2008-10-04T11:21:00.003+08:00

found out sth nt too long ago.

feel rather sucky nw.

i guess it was all my wishful tinkin.

i shall stop tinkin things tt way.

mayb, mayb i brought it upon myself.

life is jus unfair.

feelin really sad today.

oh wells.

gtg for pw meetin soon.

sighs.

i will nv forget bout all tt hv happened n r happening.

left out

2008-10-01T20:58:00.001+08:00

nobody understands me.

if only i culd run awae in those pretty little shoes n leave everythg ugly behind.

2008-10-01T17:27:00.005+08:00

new blogskin = new life?

i hope so.

hmm..but guess i cant really move on to a new life cos there r so many things unsettled n i jus cant put them down n leave it behind.

so i shall wait till e day when i can really start afresh.

sometimes,when i m sittin down infront of e com wit my fingers placed on the black squarish keys,i wonder.

i wonder hw many ppl r actually readin my blog n who r they.

i guess even "writing ur own diary" aka blogging is no longer safe.

even writing bout ur day needs u to go to great lengths.

u need to tink of wad to write n wad nt to write.

hv been tinkin bout quite alot of things these days.

jus seem to cant break free fr those problems bogging up n down in my tiny puny brain.

well...i guess that's life.

anyway, yday's outin was tirin yet fun.

at least it gave me some time to really relax.

though the time was short but its enough for me.

even though i cant have those relaxing or carefree moments anymore,

i dun lament over e fact tt nw i only hv my problems to tink of.

i guess by goin thru e problems,

will it only then make me a stronger person.

ok..its dinner time.

i shall go.

theres sch tml.

cant wait.

the day is drawing nearer n nearer.

i wanna b happy.

1,2,3,4, tell me that you love me more.

2008-09-28T21:01:00.006+08:00

today..nth spectacular happened.
jus felt really BORED at home.
supposed to go swimmin today but due to unforseen circumstances,i culdnt go.
can i go tml?
i wonder.
it does not depend on me.
actually it does.can jus go along wit my frens.
false hopes were wad i got yday and today.
sucky feelin.
i will nv rely on others agn.
so..i watched tv fr 3+ pm to bout 6.30.
hvin tis headache.
tink i suddenly watched too much tv at one go then my eyes or brain jus cant take it.
SIAN..

i rather i hv sch tml.
i break until wed la..wth..
so long..but nvm at least can go out.
i wanna join tkband alumni band.
but cant confirm yet.
ltr parents dun allow.
MADNESS.

i was on facebook all day.
n i tried playin e "how big is ur brain" game.
introduced by lim yu xuan.
n how she introduce it?
by playing it wit zi xiang durin one fine pw meetin in e terminal rm.
joined shortly aft by tak kin.
was tt pw meetin or game playing session huh?
i WONDER.
hahas.
so..i tried..n here r my results..n EVIDENCE.

mayb u cant see e words clearly..so being considerate i will zoom in..
though its still blur...-.-''

ok..nvm..nth spectacular..
so i chanced upon tis web tt sells girls accessories n look at wad i hv found..

some black belt like bracelet.
i tink its nice..but doesnt suits me..
lookin at tis reminds me of jaclyn.
wonder hows her..nvm carryin on..

a keyboard like ring..
i tink its very unique..
BUT..e diamond there is funny n out of place..

not bad..imagine all those shiny things were..REAL DIAMONDS.
*faints*

tis is actually a ring for ur pinky..
i lyk e design..may nt look gd here but will definitely look gd on ur pinky..
NO!i mean MINE.
hahas.everybody's la.

a bracelet or sth..
i find it very sweet n gentle.
but it looks more lyk only bridesmaids will wear..
ok nvm..

i wanna get sth lyk tt!
so cute!
HAHAS.

among all.
i LOVE tis!
its really nice.
=Di lyk it ALOT.

my bday comin soon!
YAY!
hope i can hv a backpack!
LYK REALLY!
cos i NEED one!
want a pair of sneakers to sch too!
n bday cake!
hven hd one for very long le..
i m nt bein bhb here la..
jus sayin hw i m feelin.
anyway,when my bday is comin..
it will b kenneth-anti milk 4-shu's bday
then followed by mine then jolene's!!
YAY!
6,7,8.hw cool is tt.=D

k la..i wanna go off liao.
cya soon ppl!
hv dental tml.goin to CLEAN my teeth!
HATE IT.
i hope i get a male doc or sth.
male docs r always nicer n gentler!
*cross fingers*
but i tink i will very suay kana one female one.
dental=long waiting time + anxiety + PAIN PAIN n more PAIN.

n OMG!
i m goin to do sth EXTRAORDINARY on tis comin WED.
i wun tell anybody.
until aft nex wed.
so STAY TUNED!
only gabriella knoes!
WOOHOO!

P.S- headaches fr watchin tv.. -.-'' hw can it b..

2008-09-28T00:25:00.005+08:00

DIAO.
im BACKKKkk.
ask me anythg bout promos n i will say "HORRIBLE"..so..
DUN ask =D.

goin to hv a long break fr nw till nex wed.
feel so bored at home!
was actually very frustrated over my com yday cos kana virus.
nw everythg is fine n back to normal.
i mus b mad.i was usin e com since evening aft i got it repaired.
guess its cos yday i culnt use it at all.
so..
yday's DEPRIVE is today's INDULGENCE.

ANYWAY,i m STILL FREAKING MAD over the virus.
HO twinnie knoes bout it.
shant say bout it anymore.
only make me very furious!

anyway,i m feelin damn hungry nw lyk a hunger pang.
didnt go for class outin yday.cos i overslept.
ZZZZzzzZZZzZZZz
but gd in a way also cos i didnt want to watch painted skin.
so scary!
i tink everythg is scary to me la!

so ERHEM! to those who r fr 1S24, esp to those who always organise e outings.
PLEASE PLEASSE PLEASSEEEE,
REFRAIN fr watching scary movies can anot!
i DAMN SCARED LA.
tt time watch the rule #1,i almost died at my cinema seat CAN!
if really cant refrain then i dun go to watch movie lo..e most.BAH

ok so i missed 1 out of 3 class outings.
but i will miss e 2nd one-badminton session.
its at night plus its so far from my hse.HAIZ!
but i will definitely go for the las one which is SENTOSA!
i hope many ppl will go!

i missed my frens!
these are the followin grp of ppl whom i missed!n is missin!
(not in order of preference!)

1) VOGka
2) TKBand batch2o07
3) DMAVZ
4) bones reloaded-my sec2 pw grp frens =D(we r still as close k!)
5) 1s24-esp the girls!

i shall do some catching up soon wif all of them stated above.
well i guess i m n will b.
1) will b meeting up wif VOGka aft Owen's eoys.
2) will b meetin up wif e batch nex sat to celebrate jo's bday!
3) hmm..hven been meeting up for VERY LONG.since...my bday?
4) meetin kiara either nex wk or the followin wk.hopefully it can be a whole grp thing.
5) SENTOSA outin on tues!!

y is it tt hw i m feelin nw is wad i felt aft my o levels?
HMM..
NVM!cos i knoe the after effects of promos will b horrible n i will emo all e way.
so for now i shall stay happy!

will go full stretch for PW n chi from nex thur onwards.
a levels chi comin.
DAMN.

anway,i alrdy planned a whole list of wad to do aft my promos.
no matter wad results i get,i m nt goin to let them affect me tt much cos i knoe life still has to go on plus wadever the results i get,i can only blame myself.so if i get retain which i most probably would then so be it.it may be a mind barrier but i will overcome it no matter wad.

i m goin to do loads of sports.
anyway i m lookin forward to the great eastern women's run.
will b runnin wif jasmine,jin ting n xue er.
cant wait!
i shall do loads of swimmin!
n play tennis!

anyway,i gtg.
so slpy!
but i wanna watch tv till i fall asleep.

BUT..

before i go,i wana say i wanna OWN A PURPLE VOLKSWAGEN

cos its SO CUTE!

to me la tt's of course..

but i know its not practical ownin one cos its a waste of $$ n its so small..
but it gives e cosy feeling n there is e new china brand chery which sells cars lyk this at a cheaper rate!
AWWWW...
but i guess its only lyk..infatuation.
then i will start to not lyk this kind of cars anymore.
POOR BEETLE.

bye bye ppl!

TADA!

P.S-Life is jus SOOOO SHIOK now.

2008-09-17T19:20:00.003+08:00

hi, i m back aft more than 2 mths?
i didnt come back cos i wanted to go back to bloggin.
cos who will when promos r jus nex wk?
except ME.
VERA HO ZHIYI.

4 main reasons tt i hv decided to post tis is cos of;
1) i feel confused
2) i feel demoralised
3) i feel as though i m thru tis all alone (though everyone say we r all in tis together, sorry, but i dun feel tis way at all)
4) and i feel cheated

the rest of my post will be me lamenting over hw i m feelin,so..if u dun wish to carry on, u can jus reach for the mouse and move the cursor all e way to the top right hand corner of e screen n click at the red x button.
...
...
many mus hv left my blog,gd in a way cos i dun tink many lyk to actually read on what others are complaining bout and since no one cares huh. (anyway, many mus be either at home or in sch studyin while i m here. DAMN. wads wrong wit me)

well, i doubt i can even get promoted since i m nt consistent in my work and i slack and i m left wit lyk 4 days?i feel tired.i know everybody else is.so i shant complain too much. up till tis pt of time, i really doubt my abilities, n i really dun tink i can get promoted. n everybody shall laugh at me n feel really happy being promoted.i will b e only one who will nt get promoted in my class i guess.

ok..so gd luck to all who are taking promos.esp to my frens.u all can do it.i CANT.

n..wad's e pt of doin sth for the sake of making e person happy?
dun give promises if u will break them n worst, forget bout it.
i shall go 4 my tuitn nw.
everythg jus suck nw.

i HATE it.
FISH
FISH FISH

2008-06-03T17:16:00.002+08:00

OOPS!it has been VERY long since i blogged.been REALLY REALLY busy these days with sch.what else..
anyway,i m feeling really bored now.very tired..fell aslp during maths n econs.

anyway,i guessed i m really detached fr my gd fren.well,at least nw i know tt she is doin fine.i feel comforted somehow.but whenever i think of how close we used to be,it jus pains my heart.but anyway,i will b meeting up wif the batch tis fri!!CANT WAIT.miss them SOOOOO MUCHHH...i shall nt say e location n e time.in case ppl decides to stalk me..

k i shall continue tis when i get home...

2008-05-15T21:42:00.003+08:00

i know EVERYBODY miss me!=D
so i m back.
LOL.
i will try my best to update lyk often la..
n e links do give me some time to get it done ba.

anyway,happened to chance upon greg's blog.
n he wrote down lyk wadever happened on wed la!
greg,u make me sound like i m a big mouth and paranoid kid.
who ask u dun wana tell yx n me things.*rolls eyes*
we gossip so u cant blame us.
HAH!

anyway ,hd a level chem spa jus nw.
was quite screwed.
not really..
but it was bad..
aiya WHATEVER.
i shuld jus move on.

anyway i m feeling really tired now.
got so many hw staring at me.
SIGHS!

tml got band elections,then sat got econs.
then nex wk is lyk so not the last wk of sch can..

banana sprained her neck!
she cant lyk ROTATE her neck.
poor thing!
anyway, her blue black on her hand very cute.
can press one.
HAHAS.
banana stop biting yx ar!
BANANAS DUN BITE!

YX is BFF wit someone in the under water world.
LOL.

GWYNNA gave me a smiley face magnet today.
anyway,we both screwed our chem spa in e same way.
HO twins jiu shi HO twins.

k la..i talkin alot of nonsense..
jus tryin to make my post long..

i MISS my batch,TKBand and TKBand Perc..

2008-01-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

ARH!why aint anybody finding a tuitn teacher!!!???
nvm.
i will be patient.

was really busy e past few days.
anyway,e blog shop is up.
will upload more pics soon!hahas.
do visit!the link is; handie-charms.blogspot.com

anyway,i will b back soon agn!
sorry!

2008-01-09T21:17:00.000+08:00

Ola.
was rather bz nwadays so didnt blog lyk everyday.
sorry!

anyway tis is sort of a repeated announcement.
anybody who wishes to buy handicrafts lyk bracelets,keychains,hp accessories etc etc..
contact me.
i m working on e online shop currently so b patient ppl!

n another announcement is anybody who needs tuitn fr pri1-a level,contact me as well!
i m a tuitn coordinator.
workin at a certified company wif certified tutors,so yup!
n if u r readin tis,mayb spread tis arnd 4 me.
=)
spread e love!

thx.
catch me back soon!

2008-01-05T20:49:00.000+08:00

HELLO!
i'm back aft SOOOoooo long.
miss me?
NAH.
i knoe u dun.
hahs.

anyway i guess i m back to bloggin agn cos i m jus oh so free nw.
other than workin at pilot pen co.

went back to tk for their cca recruitment day today.
hmm..performance was over before we reached there.
SADDED...

aft tt went spotlight to get some stuffs.made a bracelet for evonne.
givin her on mon.
hope she lyks it!
anyway,evonne is goin back san francisco on mon,7jan.
those who wanna go send her off,b at e airport at arnd 3pm.
ask me if u want e details.

anyway i calculated e bracelet cost price,excludin profit.
it costs lyk $7.50.

anyway ppl,if u wanna get any handicrafts lyk earrings,bracelets n necklaces for ur loved ones.
can ask me to do for u.
i m beta at bracelets.
u can request 4 these handicrafts to b made by theme or colour.
price is negotiable.
depends on e design n material u want.
price range is acceptable.
so is e design.=D
pls tell me ur order 1-2 wks in advance.

2007-08-09T13:18:00.001+08:00

i dunno y i m writin tis when i m supposed to b studyin or expected to b studyin.
HAHS.
anyway,HAPPY BDAY SPORE!!
love love love her.

anyway,yday played pool.
was SO FUN.
=D
shuld go play more often.
i miss bowlin.
prelims comin soon..
i m so scared..

anyway.gtg.ciao.
if u r lucky,u will catch me!=D

2007-03-18T11:33:00.000+08:00

Last entry: january 28,2007

n today,its alrdy e 18 of march 2007.
somehw i dun feel lyk bloggin anymore..
jus feel lyk closin down my blog.
many things happened..
dun wish 2 say it here..
yday was quite a bad day 4 me..
in fact,4 a whole grp of ppl.

ppl always ask: "if there is ever a chance 4 u 2 change 1 pt of urself,wad will it b?"
i always giv e same answers.
either my looks or my laziness.
i knoe tis might sound funny.
n come 2 tink of it,i find myself so stupid n foolish.
i shuld hv jus b contented wif wad i hv n nt lament over wad i dont.
well,tt is 1 lesson learnt.
nw,i hv found e ans 2 e qn.

if i ever hv a chance,i will change e part of me where i can do things smoothly n nt b full of regrets.
4 nw,i m a bucket wholesome full of regrets.
but wad's e pt?
everythg has happened.
so e only thing we can do is 2 look ahead n move on.

2007-01-28T09:21:00.000+08:00

Ola :)
i am back!
but will b gone soon cos there's jus simply no time 4 me 2 even go online or blog. :(
so yep.
hd masterclasses yday,thought it was e old cher fr st pat's but it turned out 2 b tis NUS guy.
his name is michael n so happen tt there's tis band sec1 guy who wants 2 join perc whose name is also michael.
yea,my cher didnt turn out 2 b wad i thought he was goin 2 b.
he is lyk totally so cool :)
takin degree in percussion,hv teachers who r lyk in those top orchestras n also teachers fr america.
well..guess e fees we pay will b very worth-e-value tis time!
n thruout his lessons yday,
i took down notes.hee hee..
n yday when we hd sectionals wif mr azlan,
it was SO FUN!
cos we gt 2 lyk try 2 versions of safari.
n everybody was lyk tryin 2 get tt "jazz waltz" in their heart n then play out but in e end,
everybody jus gt confused.
hahas.
gona hv a long day ltr..
tuition all e way..
studyin n revisin all e way..

tests 4 nex wk: mon-physics
tues-geog elect
thurs-emaths

there is more 2 come, for i m very sure :))
and march camp is goin 2 b fun but nt so fun.(i sound lyk e 3 witches)
BLABBER BLABBER BLABBER!
last but nt least..,
HAPPY 40th BDAY TKBAND!

2006-12-25T17:34:00.000+08:00

MERRY XMAS 2 ALL!
May ur days b filled wif lots n lots of love n blessings.
Lyk e rules of which e elves live by.
1st-treat everyday lyk x’mas!
2nd-there is space 4 every1 on e nice list.
3rd-(I 4gt..)

XMAS is a season-all bout giving.
There r ppl who r or will b happy n there will b ppl who r or will b sad.
N I m jus 1 of those unlucky ones.
Unlucky in e way tt I aint celebrating my favourite occasion of e yr, I m staying home on XMAS cos of my injury, unable 2 celebrate wif my frens or closed ones n worst of it al, my doggy is goin awae…,on XMAS day..
If u r really in a gd mood, dun bother reading n I advise u nt 2 carry on reading, instead u shuld jus close e window.

In my previous posts, I said tt my doggy was leaving.
He hasn’t left yet.
The person said he was nt coming several times, tt’s y I was able 2 keep him up till today.
I was really happy as I thought e person did nt want him anymore so tt I can continue keeping him by my side.
I wished really hard 4 e person nt 2 come.
There were times when my parents really wanted 2 giv him awae, but I was able 2 “save” him time n time agn.
But today, I dun tink I m able 2 “save” him anymore as e person called my sis telling her tt he is comin 4 e doggy today.

I still rmb e day when my sis’s fren handed e doggy 2 us 2 tc of him 4 1 wk.
When he 1st came, he stood at e door, hesitating 2 come in.
He knew it was a new environment 4 him.
Aft some time, he came in n went straight 2 e study.
He sat there motionless al day until night.
He jus sat there wif his head on e floor.
I could c tt he was really sad 2 leave his previous owner.
When I sat nex 2 him n looked into his eyes, I saw tt his eyes were watery.
I could feel hw he was feeling-extreme sadness.
E nex day, he sort of gt over it n he was being more active.
I brought him down 4 walks n aft a few days being wif him, I started 2 lyk him.
He is jus sucha cute terrier wif beautiful eyes.
When his previous owner wanted 2 take him awae, I told my sis tt I really wanted doggy n her fren granted permission 2 us 2 keep him.
I was over e moon.
I was only wif him 4 only 3 mths n I really loved his company.
N nw.., he is goin awae.., on XMAS day.
I will knoe hw he feels when he step out of our doorstep, knowing tt he will nv come back 2 us anymore.

I thank god 4 giving me a time of 3 mths 2 b wif him n e lyk I hd 4 him hd alrdy turned into love a long time ago.
I duno if he is goin 2 b happy at his new home but I m sure, his 1st day there will b lyk e 1st day here wif me.
No matter wad, I will constantly wish n pray 4 his safety, health n well-being.
I m sorry tt I couldn’t giv him a permanent home.
I hope his new owner will n they beta nt ill-treat, abuse or sent him 2 spca or anything worser, 4 I will nv 4giv them if they ever do tt.
He knows he is goin awae n he is showing some signs of ignorance.
He doesn’t 1 me 2 hug him anymore n he doesn’t respond 2 me when I call him.
Tis post is dedicated 2 my wonderful n lovely doggy though I know he cant read tis but I wish him all e best.
I m jus worried 4 him.
I wouldn’t knoe his whereabouts, his health, his happiness n his life aft today.
I m moving out of self-denial nw.
I will upload his pics some other time.

Tis is a post filled wif love 4 my one n only doggy who will always live in my heart no matter where he is.
2 my doggy who eats chocolates n practically everything tt I eat.
I will miss u so.
Do tc n b a gd doggy.
No matter hw naughty u r,
U r always my gd little doggy.
No matter hw hard I m cryin out 4 u 2 stay wif me,
I knoe everything is 2 no avail.
I knoe tis is impossible but I will always wish 4 u 2 come back 2 me.
I really will miss u n thanks 4 leaving a scar on me 4 I will always rmb u.

Wif lots of love,
Vera

For my one-n-only doggy.
who is nv comin home..

2006-12-24T10:13:00.000+08:00

woken up by my mum early in e mornin at arnd 8.10. -.-''
cos my tuitn cher was here.
he didnt even tell me las night wad time he was coming,so i also didnt bother asking him since i aint feeling tt well 4 a 2 hrs tuitn.
nevertheless,i gt out of my bed no matter hw tired i was n was given only 10 mins 2 wash up n get ready my tuition stuffs.
so i sat there 4 2 hrs n my back ached..
nw is aching..
no painkillers..
hai..
anyway..today is rather cold n today is X'MAS EVE!!
WEE..
tml is X'MAS!
which means is kiara's bday too!=)
wun b celebrating x'mas..
sighs..=((
anyway..i wish every1 here a very merry merry x'mas!=D
n i hope tis yr's x'mas will b a cold x'mas!
hee hee..

i cant wait to collect my specs.
it looks cool,but i duno if it looks ok on me.
but nvm,i will still wear cos i really need them.
eye degreee increasing alrdy..
>.<

i m finishin my hw!!=D

2006-12-23T18:26:00.000+08:00

BONJOUR!
well..i mus tell myself 2 stay happy cos i dun wish 2 b reminded of e pain.
e pain is increasin slightly everyday,guess i aint resting enough n doin too much work at home.
hai..
anyway..i went 2 make my new specs today.
will get it nex thur.
i went down wo crutches agn,e pain was there but it was bearable.
there werent any stares cos it was quite early in e mornin so e surrounding was very quiet.
thank god.

my doggy is nt gettin sent awae today!!
but shuld b tml..=((
at least i hv a few more hrs wif him.
well..
i tried puttin myself in his "shoes" n asked myself hw i felt when i was being pushes arnd by owners.
n e ans is,i felt so hurt.
imagine u being push arnd here n there.
nw it calls 4 me 2 tell u some history of him..
He was actually a lost dog.
My sis’s fren found him n took him in 4 quite some time but due 2 her hvin too many dogs,she decided 2 giv awae 1 of her dog which is nw my doggy.
I was damn happy upon receiving him n I told myself tt I wanted 2 giv him a nice,warm n permanent home.
But..due 2 some ppl nt cooperating wif me in helping 2 tc of my doggy,
My parents hd enough n call 4 him 2 get sent awae..
Well..
There were a couple of times when my parents wanted 2 sent him awae,but I stopped them n I succeeded.
But 4 tis time..i dun tink there is anything I can do.
So..
I will jus wish al e best 4 doggy.
I will miss him so so much.
I will miss e dog who wakes me up practically every morning by licking my leg n jumping up n down jus bside my bed.
I will miss e dog who often waits 4 me outside e toilet door when I go 2 e toilet.
I will miss e dog who often hide inside e bathrm when I m jus bout 2 take a bath.
I will miss e dog who loves bathing a lot.
I will miss e dog who eats a lot n eats practically everything.
I will jus miss my lovely little doggy.=’((

2006-12-22T21:54:00.001+08:00

There is caroling at paragon today.
I wanna go..=((
Actually there is caroling everywhere.
But..i jus want ppl 2 sing 4 me,
So I wil feel beta =).
Heh.
Well..wkends r here..
Dun tink I will b bloggin or comin online durin e wkends.
Sis will b usin I tink.
N..my doggy is gona b sent awae tml..=(((
I will miss him..
Sighs..wad 2 do..
I jus knoe tt my doggy is gona b sent awae cos of some1 who did nt help out anything.
Haiz..
I dunno y but..i aint feelin tt well these few days..
Feel so lonely,dejected,disappointed,hurt n sad.
=(
When can I ever go out agn…?
Dun tink I can go 4 perc bbq..=((
Shuldnt hv gt myself in all these mess in e first place..

There is a fear growin in me..
n..i declare tt i HV NO MORE PAINKILLERS..=((
so i m on my own nw..
gotta endure all e pain.
i will..

2006-12-22T09:18:00.000+08:00

appt wif e doc was fine.
quite alright.
i gt 2 knoe more bout my conditn..
doc said it was sth lyk i fell too hard on my bum which sent some shocks up my spine n up til e neck.
tt's y my neck hurts..
n my spine is ok jus tt gt some erm...trauma at e vetebrae or sth..
n thank god my spine is ok.phew..
doc also said tt my muscles at e back r bruised which caused e discomfort n pain.
so tt's bout it..
need arnd 2 wks 2 recover.
but dun tink i will b skipping sch cos it will b a very impt yr n da da da da da...

yea..n tt's 4 yday.
4 today,
nth special actually,jus feelin a little temperamental.
cos i gt woken up by my mum EARLY EARLY in e mornin.
then aft tt went 2 do some prayers.
made me walked up n down up n down wo my crutches.
its hurts alot..
lyk..ur upper body n ur lower body can jus separate into 2 anytime.
n i hd tis sharp pain searing up my spine..
didnt tell my parents bout it..
guess its ok..perhaps i jus strain too much..
so i came 2 2 conclusions..

1st: i NEED my crutches WHEREEVER i go.
2nd: i NEED NEED my PAINKILLERS ALOT.( y did e doc stopped givin me??=(( )

well..i really really wanna go out 2 play n i really wanna wanna go 4 e bbq!!ARH!!!
i m stuck at home everyday wif "DORA E EXPLORER" every wkday mornin at 9am ONLY ON KIDS CENTRAL.-.-'' n then aft tt wil hv some beyblade revolution thing then some..loonatics wadever..HAIZ.
i m aware tt i hv a deprived childhood..
but i dun wish 2 b a kid nw..AT TIS PT OF TIME.
I JUS WANNA GO OUT N PLAY!!=((

where are my painkillers???='(((

2006-12-21T19:26:00.000+08:00

came back fr e doc.well..
everything is quite fine nw..
except tt i will need arnd 2 wks 2 recover.
heard fr jo tt there is a bbq nex wed at yexi's hse.
i really wanna go!!
i dun even knoe if i m goin 2 sch when sch reopens.
i cant b goin sch in crutches..=((
sighs..

anyway..i m dead tired nw..
was walkin rnd e hospital,here n there wif my crutches..
so so tired..
n went 2 buy 3 of my chi bks..
received many stares fr e public which made me feel rather low n useless..
i mean..
so wad if i m using crutches rite?
there's no need 4 ppl 2 giv me those stares..
it hurts alot..
mus i only stay home..?=((

2006-12-20T18:58:00.000+08:00

Anyway,e pic is requested n taken by mich nt me cam-whoring kaes.>:( hw can u expect me 2 cam-whore when I m alrdy in hospital.tsk tsk.i m nt tt crazy.=P
Was learning malay few wks ago,stop 4 a period of time since I was too bz preparing 4 concert n TADA!i should jus try 2 type some malay here.sorry if my phrasing is lyk directly translation of eng 2 malay word-by-word.i didn’t get e phrasebk =((.i know I will receive comments..i m nt insulting e malay language.i m jus tryin very hard 2 learn it on my own.so giv me some time peeps!=D
So here it goes..

Saya bertolak saya punya ayah di kediaman sebab saya pergi kasut roda.
Saya berdukacita.
Sebenarnya dukacita ayah.
Sebenarnya mak.

Hope e malays will understand wad i m talking bout..=x
I m jus a complete noob 4 malay.
HEH.

Anyway my back is still hurting.
Guess I m getting dependent on the painkillers.
Hafta go 4 e doc appt. tml.
Hopefully e check-up goes fine..but I m jus scared..cos when I went there on mon,e doc asked if my neck hurt.n I said no.
But when I woke up on tues morning,my neck hurts a lot..so..
I m pretty worried nw..
Sighs..=((

Crutches are jus so nt nice!

2006-12-19T19:43:00.000+08:00

well.gt rather alot of stuffs 2 say..

firstly:i would like 2 take tis chance 2 really thank e batchies 4 yday.w/o u guys,i really wuldnt knoe wad will happen at e hospital n stuffs.so once agn,really thank you everyone.=) esp to gab,zhiyi,mich,jo n linda.thx mich 4 lending me a shoulder when i cried n guessed i threw tantrums-nt wantin 2 go 2 e hospital =x.

secondly:i've changed my blogskin as u can c.but i m still lazy 2 egt e links down.will do it another day when i feel much much beta.

lastly:would lyk 2 wish every1 out there a very very merry merry x'mas!n would lyk 2 wish kiara a early happy bday!

well..dun ask me wad happened 2 me..i m too lazy 2 type it all out..so i shall jus take an extract fr kwara's blog.

"Then things happened.Vera brought me down to a slope while Imma and Gabriel followed behind. Then Gabriel went back to find someone I think. So Imma and me were holding on to this closed stall so that we wouldn't slip and fall. Vera bladed down the slope first. She seemed alright at first then she suddenly fell. Hard. Gabriel came over and went to Vera. She got up and seemed fine. Then Gabriel took me down the slope. Boy, it was crazy and scary, we were going so fast! Woohoo. Total thrill ride man. Then we went over to Vera but she was in pain from the fall, and tearing up. Something was wrong. The rest of the Batch came over soon enough.We took off her blades and tried to let Gab piggyback her but she couldn't bend cos of her back. So we got her a chair instead. We ended up calling for an ambulance. She got sent to KK Hospital. Rest of us ran back to the skates-rental place and grabbed our stuff. Most of the girls went to Jo's house to get a change of clothes. Me, Zhiyi and JJ cabbed down to KK Hopsital ASAP.As it turned out, Vera was fine. Whew. Thank goodness. We got such a scare man.We stayed and waited for Vera to get her crutches. Haha. Cam-whored too, inside the hospital -.-" Told ya we were nuts!"

"She might be in hospital but she can still pose for a picture."

anyway..tt pic of tt baby is actually a paper of "uses of crutches" given by e very kind nurses of e children's department.heh..

i m considered quite alright nw.so batchies dun hafta worry =).i m ok.jus tt walkin n sleeping is a prob 4 me nw.i feel bored n lonely everyday.cant go out n play anymore..cant blade anymore..hopefully i will recover soon..if there's a last batch outin b4 sch starts,i really wanna go!blog agn tml.tc everyone n rmb DO NOT BLADE ON RAINY DAYS n even if u do,NV NV GO DOWN SLOPES!

i fear e pain n pain e fear..

sobs..=(( so pain..

2006-12-12T22:02:00.000+08:00

there's alot of thing i really really wanna write here.
but somehw,
blogging is jus nt a safe way out.
so i shall keep everything 2 myself.
n 1 day..i will get inflated lyk a balloon..
n then...slowly..slowly..
BURST n everything will b gone.
COOL...
aint it?

somtimes i wonder..
if i can make time 4 my frens,
y cant they make time 4 me?
y m i always on e losing end?
jus wad did i do 2 deserve all tis?
i really dunno.
mayb there r jus too many bad ppl.
n perhaps i m a bad person in other ppl's eyes.
haiz..
where r they when i needed encouragement n support e most?
they r jus nt there..
they r near but they jus seem so far..

faraway..far far away..

2006-12-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

life is funny isnt it?
just when u tink u've gt it figured out,
just when u finally begin 2 plan sth,
get excited bout sth,
n feel lyk u know wad directn u're heading in,
the paths change,
the signs change,
the wind blows the other way,
north becomes south,
and,east is west,
and u 're lost.
it is so easy 2 lose ur way,2 lose directn.

i find life really funny 4 me.
heaven is constantly playin tricks on me.
1 ordeal aft another.
time doesnt even stop 4 u 2 let u get over e ordeal.
time always flies,it nv stops 4 anybody.
i still rmb when i came across e word "breadwinner" when i was in p4.
i thought it was some1 who wins bread,lots n lots of bread.
hw stupid n naive was i.
but cant blame me,cos i was only 10 yrs old,young,inexperienced n of cos,some1 who has a limited bank of vocab.
then when i found out e meaning of e word,i started callin my dad e breadwinner of my family.
i m proud of him,very.
i knoe words can nv describe hw much i admire him etc.
but i really do love my daddy alot alot.
those who knoes wad happened,will knoe hw much i love my dad.
i love my family too.

although nw i m in no position 2 b e breadwinner of my family,neither do i hv a taste of it.
but i do hold a responsibility in my family nw.
guess its very similar 2 being a breadwinner of e hse,except 4 e money n cash part.
imagine u hv 2 tc of 3 ppl n perhaps 1 dog.
1 of them whom is nt strong enough 2 even walk etc.
imagine u gotta ensure tt everybody is safe,
hd their meals etc.
imagine u gotta run errands everyday,making trips here n there.
imagine goin 2 a wet market 2 buy chicken meat when u hven even been 2 a wet market n buy anything b4.
i knoe tt's stupid.
i knoe tt's spoilt.
i knoe.
but tell me who washes their own clothes everyday.
who buys food 4 e whole family?
who run errands here n there jus 4 e whole family?
who take cares of e whole family?

i m tired,i really am.
but b4 i end tis post,
i would lyk 2 thank god 4 blessing my dad,makin him pass thru e most difficult stage of his life.
secondly,4 blessin me n my family.
thirdly,4 givin me such a wonderful family.
fourthly,4 givin me some frens tt r really worth 2 b called frens.
n lastly,4 givin me a "family"-DMAVZ who always cheers me up n always being there 4 me.
thanks alot.
n b4 i go,
4 all those ppl out there who r doin some bad stuffs,ask urself y u r doin tt.
i knoe i m in no position 2 say tis or 2 giv u advice or anything,
u can do wadever u want 2 me,
but in e end,
god is nt blind,
u will get punished.

2006-12-01T09:33:00.000+08:00

so wad if i gt wad i didnt own las time?
aft much soul-searching,i found out tt i m nt a least happy at all.
y do i hv 2 entangle myself in all these mess?
everytime i c her,i m reminded tt i m sucha slut.
i tried ways 2 cheer her up,but she jus dun get a least happy at all.
i knoe ppl hate me,dislyk me.
but cant i b even considered as a fren in ur eyes?
u make me feel lyk givin up everything tt i own nw.
if i can c smiles on ur face, i m willing 2 giv up everything,since i dun own them.

suddenly,i feel tt all e decisions i made r gravely wrong.
they r happy,he is happy.
everyone is happy.
n i m startin 2 wonder if everything u said was true.
i hope 1 day,u will tell me e truth.
cos i dun 1 2 find out e ugly truth myself n by then,i dun tink we can even b frens.
n tt will hurt me alot.

lesson i learnt:nv find happiness over other ppl's misery.
lessons tt everybody shuld learn:nv ever giv ppl names or badmouth them,cos mayb u r wad u call ur frens.

1 step forward,3 steps back.

2006-11-12T10:18:00.000+08:00

i see the pain thru his watery eyes.
i tried callin him but he didnt respond,he couldnt respond.
he was bein put 2 slp cos e tubes which were his lifeline were too pain 4 him 2 tolerate.
i cant imagine a day wo him.
i love him,
i need him badly.
very badly..
i m so scared tt he will jus giv up 1 day..

to him,

i knoe u wun b able 2 c tis but i hope somehw god will convey tis msg 2 u.i love u alot n i cant imagine my days or life wo u.i need u very very badly.we all need u very badly.u cant leave us.i knoe u r goin thru alot of pain,it pain our hearts 2 c u goin thru all these pain n yet there's nth we can do 2 help easy ur pain.u must b strong n nv giv up.u mus b brave.tis is a tough fight 4 u,i knoe u will win it so nv nv giv up.we r always here 4 u,stayin by ur side.u will b alright.i knoe it.i m waiting 4 u 2 come home,no matter hw long it will take,i will still wait.i love u.

2006-11-09T08:58:00.000+08:00

i cant actually believe tt i m bloggin.
but guess i really needa blog cos everything's in a mess nw n there's nobody whom i can talk to,or more lyk understand me.
i cant deny e fact tt we teenagers nw prefer when we r home alone,where we dun hv our parents 2 disturb us,nag at us,irritate us etc.
i used 2 hope 4 me being home alone,if i say i didnt pray 4 such kinda days,i will b lying.
but nw,tis thought of mine has disappeared n vanish into thin air.
n nw i wonder hw stupid n foolish i was 2 hv those kind of ridiculous thoughts.
i hate myself 4 tt.
nw everyday,i wait 4 him 2 come back home.
but it jus seemed 2 me tt he will b away 4 a very long time.
i pray n pray 4 him everyday,n his condition jus dun seem 2 get any beta,in fact it gets worst.
is heaven playing a trick on me?on him?
if heaven is,then i really dun understand y it is doin tis 2 us or rather wad we did 2 deserve all tis.
well,perhaps these r things tt we beings jus dun understand or get it.
i visit him everyday,n he jus gets weaker n weaker by day.
every hr,every min,every sec,i tink of him.
i worry 4 him.
i cry 4 him.
i pray 4 him.
it pains my heart so much 2 c him suffer every min n yet there's nth i can do 2 ease his pain.
it pains my heart even more when i c tears welling up in his eyes,putting a brave front infront of me.
i dunno exactly hw pain physically he's goin thru but e pain i know is draining me emotionally n physically.
i really miss u.
pls do come home soon.
i will b waiting.

I feel like a song without the words
A man without a soul
A bird without its wings
A heart without a home
I feel like a knight without a sword
The sky without the sun
cos you are the one

I feel like a ship beneath the waves
A child that lost its way
A door without a key
A face without a name
I feel like a breath without the air
And every day's the same
since you've gone away

I gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning
You used to be the one that put a smile on my face
There are the words that could describe how I miss you
and I miss you everyday
yea

and I'm never gonna leave your side
and I'm never gonna leave your side again
still holding on girl
I won't let you go
cos when I'm lying in your arms
I know im home
They tell me that a man can lose his mind
Living in the pain
The call in times gone by
The crying in the rain
You know ive wasted half the time
And i'm on my knees again
till you come to me

pls come home soon.

2006-11-06T18:22:00.000+08:00

sorry 4 my blog bein so dead.
will update everything agn e nex time i start bloggin agn,hopefully it will b soon cos i wish everything will end soon n nt stay there.
i m willing 2 suffer n go thru all e ordeals.
i love him,i love my family.
aint in a mood 2 blog at all but i shall say a few words here cos i knoe i wun b able 2 do so 4 a period of time.

he is so pale.
it pains me so much 2 c him suffer everyday.
i pray 4 his safety and health.
i really do.

2006-10-22T18:24:00.000+08:00

sometimes it jus dawn upon me tt i m nth but a useless n unfeeling animal.
it may seem tt i m unaware if things,but i m nt.
jus wanna let u knoe tt,if u need help i m still here.
i knoe i m freaking useless n cruel in other ppl's eyes.
but i dun care anymore,cos i still hv my life 2 go on.

changed my blog song agn.
here r e lyrics,

I feel like a song without the words
A man without a soul
A bird without its wings
A heart without a home
I feel like a knight without a sword
The sky without the suncos you are the one
I feel like a ship beneath the waves
A child that lost its way
A door without a key
A face without a name
I feel like a breath without the air
And every day's the same
since you've gone away
I gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning.

there's still somemore.go n find it urself.=P

2006-10-22T17:30:00.000+08:00

sorry 4 nt bloggin 4 sooo long..
but its gd tt i dun blog cos if nt e posts will b lyk so...
argh.=x.
i mean its lyk,ppl blog 4 different things.
some blog when they r happy,some blog when they r sad.
4 me,most of e times i blog 4 sad things cos if i m happy i will share my joys wif others.
but when i m sad,i prefer 2 keep it 2 myself n sometimes blog bout it.
tt's e use of bloggin 4 me i tink.
hahas.anyway,
vera jus dun make sense.
tt's lyk sooo.. true cos vera nv make sense.=)

tink mayb my com will b sent away 4 repair.
mus reformat or sth.
so i will miss comin online.
bleahx..
perc's 1st performance will b on wed n we hven even started practisin together.
in fact,we only jus started workin out e beats.
trust me,its sooo DAMN TIRIN!=(
but..e notice is lyk so las min la can..
then "SOME PERSON" expect us 2 put up a gd show 4 e whole sch.
lyk..wth?
since e "SOME PERSON" has such high expectations on us,y dun she lyk go play.
LOL.

currently..,i m quite disappointed in someone.
i hope e person will knoe bout tis.
its lyk time 4 u 2 reflect upon urself.
jus ask urself wad u r doin.
u tink u r happy lyk tis?
u tink she's really ur fren?
u really tink tt when u r in trouble,she will b there wif her arms open 2 help u?
if u really tink tis way,then i hv nth 2 say except e fact tt u r jus being too naive.
i saw hw u changed.
n it seems 2 me tt u lyk e change in urself.
well..,congrats cos u succeeded.
but every1 who cares 4 u n ur once closest buddy lost e battle.
u r nw e winner,arent u happy nw?
i bet u r.
cos u jus dun knoe hw much it hurts those ppl who cares so much bout u.
u only knoe hw 2 seek materialism.
i m jus so disappointed in u.
n dun complainin 2 me tt u r troubled or whatever,
cos i dun blif u anymore.
all ur promises 2 me r broken.
u r nv e happy,cheerful n trustworthy person i used 2 knoe.
u r jus a puppet nw.
in ur eyes,im well aware tt i changed too.
but i m tellin u tt,u hv caused e change in me,cos u lied n hurt me too much tt nw,
i m washing my hands off u n dun come cryin 2 me anymore.
i dun need u.
u only need ur master.

well..i guessed i said too much.
4 nw,i m workin real hard 4 my chi os on nex nex mon.
hv been staying back everyday 4 e past 1 wk.
i m really tired.
fallin sick too.
sighs..

i dun wanna run away but i cant take it,
i dun understand.

today,i waited 4 26mins.n e time is still runnin..27...28..29..30...........

2006-10-09T15:09:00.000+08:00

sorry 4 my previous post.
i know i shuldnt feel tt way,but..
e feeling n loneliness jus lingered on 2 me.

lit paper jus nw was considered quite ok if u study real hard n bother 2 memorise e quotes which were so diffcult in doin so.
well,i dunno if i will write out of pt but..lyk..
who cares since its over nw.

was takin mrt 2 sch today,
then i suddenly thought of y i felt so lonely on my special day.
well..
ppl who were considered close 2 me hd forgotten bout my bday.
nt all,but majority.
i dunno y,but i jus felt quite hurt.
when i could actually make it a pt 2 rmb their bdays,y cant they rmb mine?
i knoe every1 is busy,i m busy too.
if i can rmb urs,y cant u rmb mine?
=(

ok..i seriously hv no idea y i m tokin bout tis,but dun b misunderstood,i m nt askin 4 anything fr u.

anyway..2 more days n it will b e end of exams.
every1 will b happy,
i will b happy too.
but sth jus tells me tt i shuldnt b happy
cos its only e start of e worst.

anyway,tis blog song is taken fr adrian's blog.thx so much =)
n nw i m hooked onto e song.
below r e lyrics..and it doesnt go out 2 any1 or hv any special meanings.
i jus lyk e song =)

Cannot touch, Cannot hold, Cannot be together
Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot have each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one waltz away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot dream, Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel,
Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on,
Must not say
What we've known all along

Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one waltz away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you

Bridge:
Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we've known all along

Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one waltz away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you
When you are gone

2006-10-07T19:01:00.000+08:00

i duno y but i jus gotta do tis-wishin myself happy bday.
ok..so..
happy bday 2 me myself.
=/
tis is e 1st bday tt i feel so so lonely.
haiz..
in another 5 more hrs,my special day is gona b gone.
it will b heartbreaking 4 me when e clock strikes 12 tonight.
but i cant b so selfish cos i cant hold on 2 time n e time doesnt stops 4 me.
cos tml will b a special day 2 other individuals.
n i knoe they will enjoy their day much more than me.

today is alrdy considered a quite a bad day 4 me cos i gotta stay home 2 study at home.
lyk..wth.
but i gt no choice.
at least some ppl get 2 jus go out n dine which doesnt really take up too much of a time.
i would appreciate if i could jus go down 2 e hawker centre 2 eat wif their family.
n today was worst as there were arguments today,
which made me unable 2 study n it made me feel tt i m so nt impt in their eyes n others.
e weather was considered very bad enough,n all these happened.
makin my day lyk..
wadever la.
when it was supposed 2 b a happy 1.

ok..i shall end soon,if nt i will feel worst.
n i still gotta mug so hard tml 4 mon's lit paper.
sighs..
so here r my bday wishes..
gona only say 2 of it,cos by sayin e third 1 out it wun come true.
ok..tt's so practical minded of me but anyhw..

1.world peace
2.family,my dog biscuit,my friends n every1 2 b happy.

ok tt's all.
i m nt lookin 4ward 2 12 tonight.
call me selfish.
call me stubborn.
cos jus no1 understands hw i feel..
i feel so lyk cryin./
sighs..

n lastly,nt 4gettin 2 thank all those who sent me bday msges.
u made a big difference 4 my day.
thx so much.
really.
though its jus smses,i guess u will knoe hw impt it means to me.

2006-10-06T16:42:00.000+08:00

aft a few dyas of nt bloggin.
i hv come 2 a conclusion tt..

i HATE exams la can..
in fact,nobody lyks exams.
unreliability of tests.
tests do nt determine one's intelligence.
ok..lol..im crappin.
but actually nt crappin.
i m JUS revisin lit.=D
HAHAS.
ok nvm..
1st of all.
HAPPY BDAY 2 anti-milk 4 shu-kenneth.=D
n HAPPY BDAY in advance 2 jolene-stay cute n chubby =P
hahas.
ok..exams r gona finish n i m really happy bout it.
cos exams r jus...
ARGH.
i m so deprived of slp..
bleahx..
but aft exams will b another thing-band lyk almost every single day.
hahas.
but i will enjoy band.
nw i m suddenly reminded of erm..e thing i owe mr chia 4 so long..=xx
oh god..
when band starts,he's so gona kill me larh..

well,ltr gona meet sis 2 buy phone.
i m gettin a new phone.
FINALLY.
aft waitin 4 a million gazillion yrs.
thx so much 2 my parents n sis =D.
it will b my best bday present ever.
hee..=P
but e quite sad thing is tt..
i can only take it out 2 use on wed..bleahx..
meanin aft exams la..
sobs..
cos i tink my parents n sis tink tt i will b distracted cos of e phone.
but its ok..
at least i alrdy bought e phone.
so jus let me wait 4 lyk another 4 days..
bleahx..
ok..
i m so bored nw.
anyway jus nw was so funny.
gab made e biggest mistake of his life by sayin.."i dun hv my..."
hahas.=x
n it made everyone laugh lyk mad jus nw..
n hilma laughed until she was cryin n her tummy aches.
aiyo..>.<
anyway..
i really do miss band n e batch outings..
sobs..
ok..i shall go rest or at least study a little.
takaire ppl.
5 more days till e end of exams!

ADIOS!

2006-09-23T22:39:00.000+08:00

hd amaths mock test jus nw..
n it was lyk..
out of erm 12 qns,i only knew hw 2 do 7.
LOL.
say i m dumb?
ok..i get it.
>.<
then aft tt went 2 study wif e rest..
then went home,hd tuition.
n e funny part was..
biscuit kept clingin onto my tutor's leg.
HAHAS.
kae..
i really gotta mug hard nw..
DAMN hard i mean..although i dun hv e mood..
BLEAHX..
guess i wun b bloggin nex wk..
even if i were 2,it will b of little contents.
nayway..
happy muggin ppl!
=D

anyway,wuld really lyk 2 thank hilma 4 lots of stuffs.
n dun worry girl,i was sad jus nw cos i didnt feel well.
jus lyk a burst of depression as usual.
n i was seriously bored cos all of u were doin ur work except me.
bleahx..
so i felt sort of lyk outta of e place and it has nth gotta do wif u.
i assure u tt.
sorry if i made u feel horrible.
n really thx alot.=)

2006-09-22T18:54:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!today's FRIDAY!
WEEee..
hahas.basically e reason y i m SOOoo happy,
its cause i hven really gt a gd night's slp.
>.<
BLEAHX!
but tml still gotta wake up early go sch 4 amaths.
SIAN..=(
but will b lookin 4ward 2 tml cos we r gona go destress!
as usual..
=D.
today was a ok day.
everything was normal..
jus tt durin chem lect. it was SUPER funny!
it was lyk 3 ppl alrdy gave ans 2 mr tan,
then mr tan went 2 ask wang chao 2 giv him another option.
then he went 2 repeat e ans which was alrdy mentioned n he gave those blur look.
so everybody was lyk lookin 2 his directn n laughin la.
then mr tan was lyk.."ok wang chao,i giv u 2nd chance,giv me another option."
then..
his answer was wad e 2nd guy alrdy said.
so everybody laughed agn.
n nw,while giggling, mr tan said "oookk..wang chao,i give u 3rd chance,giv me sth tt is nt mentioned."
ok..so aft a while..
wang chao looked up n opened his mouth..
n then..
IT WAS WAS E 3RD GUY ALRDY SAID!
so tis time..
e whole audi was lyk laughin la!
hahas.it was so damn funny la can.
LOL.
basically,my day was lyk tt.
nth spiced up my day.
nobody brightenened up my day.
BLEAHX..

As I rest against this cold, hard wall,
Will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won.
Only to find the road has just begun...

2006-09-21T19:38:00.000+08:00

yday was a bad day.
today was worst or shuld i say equally worst as yday?
no but today was worst but agn,i tink its ok.
no but i tink its still much worser than yday.
but today jus seems 2 b better.
but today was bad.
i m so in a dilemnia-unable 2 decide if my day was worst or beta than yday.
DAMN.

sch was normal,
everything was normal..
then aft sch hd full eng paper 2.
it was crap la can.
i finished jus on e dot.
then aft tt,
waited wif e rest 4 e qms.
e wait was looooong..
but we still survived waitin.
n then i guess sth did happen.
or shuld i say,it did happen.
haiz.
jus wad did i do tis time agn.
i dunno y,
i jus feel so fucked up.
ARGH!!

nobody understand hw i feel,
esp when ppl dun believe wadever u say.
then went home wif e rest.
hilma wasnt feelin tt well.
she was kinda sad.
or very sad.
tt i dunno cos she didnt tell me.
nw i truly understand n realized tt everybody do hv their own probs,
i jus hope tt things wun go tt bad 4 me.
n history wuldnt repeat itself.
mayb it will,mayb it wun..
so ..
there's nth i can do but jus wait n see.
nobody will stand wif me.
tt's 4 sure..
someone jus talk 2 me.
but who can i talk 2?
n in e 1st place,who will even tok 2 me..
DAMN.
sighs..

was i e cause of everything?i m sorry if i made u felt tis way..
i truly am.

2006-09-20T20:05:00.000+08:00

jus hd prelims today.
paper was lyk erm..
quite ok.
but i seriously n frankly says tt,i dunno whetr i will do well.
haiz..=(

today was nt a really gd day 4 me.
shuld hv went home straight jus nw n nt eat 1st.
oh well,i was too hungry so no choice.

i m really sorry..
haiz..
hvin eng test tml.
hope tml will b a beta one..
sighs..

2006-09-19T19:21:00.000+08:00

OK ppl.
TT’S IT.
2 wks down 2 EOYs.
NO MORE band pracs.
NO MORE batch outings.
NO MORE kaka batch trips 2 ECP.
NO MORE batch lunches.
NO MORE bbqs.
NO MORE jalan-jalan trips 2 parkway n bugis.
NO MORE kallang n parkway kfc.
NO MORE parkway bk.
NO MORE kallang mac.
NO MORE things we do on 2nd tier.
NO MORE days when we get stressed out by band stuffs but only studies n tests nw.
NO MORE sectional bfast at spore post centre.
NO MORE slacking 4 us(perc) at e back of e studio.
NO MORE rifat,dennis,azmi n kamarul usin e masking tape 2 remove their leg hairs.>.<

Sobs.DAMN e EOYs.
Bleahx..>.<

I will miss band SOOOoo much.
I will miss our batch SOOOoo mch too n everything I hv listed above.

We will hv 2 mug real damn hard 4 e whole of 2 wks.
N aft tt.
Days will b soo buzy 4 us.
But we wun mind.=D
Cos we will hv 2 prepare 4 concert,indoor com,ensemble,farewell party n mayb e trip 2 hk.=D
But all these will b AFT eoys.
Hahas.

I will miss u guys soo much.sobs ='(

Hd emaths test on mon.
N it was OK.
Jus tt I threw 5 marks away.
SOBS.
Then jus hd phy test.
N it was lyk i dunno wad..-.-''
if u studied very well,u r lyk gona get full marks la.
but SADLY,i didnt study so..=x
bleahx..
i was so tried yday tt i slept n didnt really study temp. well.
anyway,wuld lyk 2 take tis opportunity 2 thank e lamer of all time-joan =x n e one who is down wif charlie-gordon's syndromes-hilma =x.
hahas.
they will knoe wad happened.=D
ok..tml gt prelims,
i m lyk so gona dunno wad 2 do.
but chi hw 2 study la =x.
so i shall jus go n sit 4 e paper unprepared n c wad happens.
n i m nt syain i m pro or wad so dunneed study,its jus tt e format nw is lyk..
HOW N WAD 2 STUDY?!
lol.then thur gt eng test.
FULL compre paper.
BLEAHX.

OMG.i so love heaven nw 4 everything he is givin me nw =).

2006-09-16T20:45:00.000+08:00

Well..
Basically..
Today was a ok day 4 me.
Jus tt many things happened.
=D

N to fiza: everything is over.so..dun worry bout it anymore.=D n u r very most welcome.hahas.

I hd mixed feelings today.
Awhile happy awhile down.
But I was only lyk 15% happy today.
Las band prac n it’s a sad one 4 me.
Haiz..=(
But wad 2 do..
Heaven is jus nt on my side.
Bleahx..

Ok currently I gotta do some stuffs n mail it 2 mr chia.
Yawns.
So tired.
Almost everyday nex wk will b tests.
So moi wk will b CRAMPED wif tests.
ARGH..
Gotta study emaths tml.
Ok..i m tired..
Will blog agn another time.

N thx piggy though I knoe u wun read tis.=D
Hahas.

2006-09-13T17:58:00.000+08:00

ok.i m back!=D
anyway 2 those tt dunno wad happened 2 my nose,nw i m tellin u.
i gt bitten by my dog n i m NOT being assaulted neither did i scratch my nose nor did i burst my pimple.
so dun lyk assume wad happened 2 my nose.
u can always ask me.=)
yday stayed baq wif e rest 2 study in e studio.
then everybody asked me 2 go 2 e doc.
but i was scared tt they gona lyk take my blood =x,so i told them tt i didnt wana go.
n then,zhiyi go n say wad l8r i get rabist.
CHOY LO!
then when i took his noodle,he lyk damn scared la.
but under rico's nice words =),zhiyi gave me e noodle.
HAH.
then aft tt went 2 go c doc at night then wait so long n i was hvin headache n gastric.
then finally it was my turn.
so went in n gt jabs.
it was HOOORRIBBLLEE!!
its lyk normally e needle will jus poke into ur skin mayb lyk e most 1cm.
but yday,e doc pushed e needle all e way until my muscle.
n up till nw,my hand is still pain.
then today mornin was actually ok.
but then suddenly durin physics i started feelin weak all over.
my whole body's muscle was aching.
then started hvin terrbile gastric.
then hd bad headache,felt nauseatic.
trust me at tt pt of time i was lyk really gona die.
n i was breathing damn hard.
even mich could hear my breathing when we were lyk sittin 1 n a half tables away.
ok..
so i slept abit durin phy.
but i culdnt really rest as mr foo isnt those who will allow me 2 slp durin his lesson.
then aft phy was amaths.
n my head jus dropped on e table n i slept n rested.
aft amaths was pe.
then suddenly i hd this bad gastric which woke me up n jus nw it was pe.
so kia n steph went down wif me 2 tell mr lim n then kia accompanied me 2 buy some fingerfood.
then i n kia went baq 2 class n seeing e food i jus felt lyk vomittin agn.
but i told myself i gotta eat if nt i will b lettin myself down n those whom i gave my promise 2.
so i endured n forced all e food down.
but my gastric was still there.
my dad was correct,he said tt gastric is lyk ur organ is shrinkin or sth.
n i really felt tt my organ was shrinking.
then aft tt was emaths.
it passed very quickly n i didnt slp.
then it was recess n i slept e whole way thru until ce.
durin ce i was still slpin.
guess i only woke up at e 2 nd period when it was goin 2 end n i took down some notes.
aft tt i didnt slp anymore.
=)
n i felt much beta.
but gastric was still there somehw.
then went 2 lib n did some copyin of notes.
then walked 2 bus stop n then saw zhiyi they all.
then we went caltex n talked.
then we came out wif lots of stuffs.
only i,zhiyi,nic,jj,cherie,cheryl n jo knoe about it.-coordinate geo.n finding coefficients by OBSERVATION.=D
HEH HEH.
lol.then i,zhiyi,cherie,cheryl n jj discussed bout this thing.
lol.
k la.my hand aches when i m typin tis.
n tis is reallyy long..
gtg.

ADIOS^^

2006-09-09T18:06:00.000+08:00

band was ok jus nw..
jus tt i wasnt feelin well durin sectionals.
hd terrible gastrics.
so went 2 office n took e biscuits 2 eat.
n i didnt feel beta in anyway.
then started feelin cold..
e gastric pain is lyk 4eva there la.
even nw e pain is still there.

new scores were given out-from russia wif love,flight of the thunderbird n jungle.
e 1st 2 pieces were ok n manageable.
EXCEPT 4 jungle.
it's lyk..
i DUNNO wad 2 say but e level of difficulty is lyk..
"trrak..DISH!"(only percussion knoes tis)
ok..
we looked at e timpani n mallet score n it was lyk hell.
mallet was lyk gliss here then roll,then roll in btw. quavers then gliss etc.
0.O
luckily we didnt play e piece but mr chia said we r gona play it some other time.
n me n fiza was lyk "play tis some other time wif gab arnd".
lol.
cos its lyk none of us can manage it.
ok..
then aft tt went 2 parkway wif fiza.
went 2 buy bread 4 lunch cos i cant eat other stuffs.
n i hd a HARD time choosin which bread i want.
HEH.
then aft tt we went 2 walk walk cos fiza wanted 2 get a wallet.
then while walkin we stopped n admire e sand workshop at basement.
so nice.
but we were tinkin..
tt since e man was making a mermaid,
then e lower part of e body shuld b covered wif scales..
but his mermaid hd scales n hd butt line.
"trrak..DISH!"
when it was nt supposed 2 hv la.
then we started laughin.
then aft tt went 2 meet wif e rest at kfc.
once i stepped in,
e "aroma" of kfc made me nauseatic agn..=(
then it came 2 a pt of time when i culdnt take it n went 2 order cheese fries n ice lemon tea.=x
SHEESH.
then alot of things happened at kfc..

ok..tt's bout it all.
will rush thru my hw tonight n tml.
once i look at hw,i will hv headaches..
sobs..

nvm..i will b counting down 2 arnd 2-3 hrs.=D
n fiza will b counting down 2 erm arnd 1 hr time.
haha.
n e time nw is 6.12pm.=)

2006-09-08T20:27:00.000+08:00

i m really sorry guys tt i cant join u all 4 bbq. =(
really sorry..
i m sure tt its gona b lots of fun.
but somehw i jus cant get 2 enjoy it..
haiz.
nvm..
i shall feel e same as those who couldnt make it 4 today.
i hope by me feelin tis way with those will b fair.
nt sayin tt those who could go 4 e bbq is unfair.
i m jus sayin tt i shuld go thru wad e rest r goin thru too since i m lyk always one of those who always go 4 all these events.
hope u gt wad i mean.

ok.
i dunno y but i jus want bubble gum n chewing gum.=D

i dunno y,but jus wanna ask myself e same qn agn..

"y m i feeling tis way when i m nt supposed 2?shuld i follow my heart?"
=((
but i knoe sth 4 sure.
tt if i made e choice,
i will disappoint some,
or even more..
argh.
i need some1 2 talk 2,
but i dun tink its time yet.
gosh.

2006-09-08T11:43:00.000+08:00

ok..
jus came back fr e doc.
i gt gastric virus.=((
i cant eat anything oily,heaty or "hard".
i can only eat porridge..=((
n i cant even drink my fav.-milk
n i also cant drink my all time fav-MILO!!=(((
haiz..i hate tis man..

ok goin 2 leave 2 go meet e rest.
so nw dun tink i can stay 4 bbq..
sobs..
i will b lookin 4ward 2 tml.=)

PIGGYPIGGYPIGGY

=x
jus feel lyk sayin tis word.
hahas.

ciao.

2006-09-07T19:25:00.000+08:00

band prac today was ok..
except 4 e fact tt i was totally stressed up cos mallet boy gab is nt here.
so 4 mission impossible piece,
i handled bells,chimes n xylo parts in fact i hd 2 take all mallets.
it was totally tiring.=((
n there is still sat's prac.
by e end of tis wk,
i guessed i will b dead by then..
hah.
n gab beta buy us chewing gum n bubble gum.
hahas.

tml batch bbq.
dunno whetr i will b goin.
is nt i dunwan go.
its jus tt when i c food,i will feel lyk vomittin.
n plus my mood is lyk god knows wad..
n i dun wish 2 spoil e others' mood.
n lastly,
my head is gettin pain agn..
guess mus b e aft-effects.
but it has been alrdy lyk aft 1 mth +,
n nw my head is lyk..
ARGH.
hopefully dun hv 2 go back 4 doc review,
n e pain is accumulating each day..
e feeling is so nt nice n its unbearable.
but who understands rite?
ok..sorry 4 spoilin e moods of some =((
sorry..
n anyway guys,
dun worry cos i m nt on diet(i m alrdy skinny enough)
its jus tt i cant brin myself 2 eat or gobble down e food..

n if tml i really cant make it 4 e bbq,
i m really sorry guys..=(

y m i feelin tis way when i m nt supposed 2?
=(

2006-09-07T08:23:00.000+08:00

it ever dawn upon me tt y ppl arnd me r all leaving.
n i m nt e 1 leavin!>:(
HMPH!
piggy flew awae alrdy,dunno when coming back.
extreme sadness..
=(

ok goin 4 band in lyk 45 mins time.
gab went 2 msia n wun b back till sat i guess.
c another 1 leaving..
y cant i leave too?=x
then it suddenly dawn upon me agn tt i n fiza r lyk so gona die cos we both gt tis sort of disease tt doesn't allow us 2 side read which is equals 2 us nt being able 2 play e mallet parts 4 e pieces =x
mallet boy is gone.
n nw e stress is on me n fiza.>:(

tml batch bbq.
dunno whetr i can go cos aint feeling tt well.
since tues,
hv been feeling nauseating until nw.
perhaps jus goin 4 e day activities ba..
c food also will feel lyk vomittin
no food also wanna vomit
eat alrdy also wana vomit.
HAIZ.
hopefully i will b well by tml..

*prays 4 me,piggy n everyone else*
=D

2006-09-06T16:11:00.000+08:00

ok..3rd post 4 today..
here it goes..

okie..3rd day of hols n i hven finished a single shit of hols hw.
let's c wad little vera has..

english
compre n summary.(finished only compre)

chinese
some summary(lame shit)

emaths
trigo ws(damn hard:dunno hw 2 do=nt gona do =x )
wb(did some alrdy)

amaths
hol revision ws
n 1 more ws(4gt wad it is=i tink i lost it or i dun even hv it)

chemistry
revision ws(i tink i lost it)

hahas.ok tis obviously shows tt i gt no time at all 4 revision.=(
anyway,piggy is gona "fly"!!=(
i will b sad.=((

2006-09-06T14:10:00.000+08:00

a girl of past
seeking n struggling real hard 4 happiness
n nw she thought she found happiness
but it jus didnt go her way

she was happy
she was free
she laughed
she hang out

but she jus didnt knoe
tt so many things happened
was it karma?
or was it her who caused everything 2 fall?

n she's losin it..

2006-09-06T11:33:00.000+08:00

changed my blogskin agn..
too tired 2 add e links further.
will add agn some other time.
well.
i m gona endure 4..
107 hrs.=)
n e endurance will officially start tml!=x

anyway yday was so fun can..
actually supposed to celebrate erm fafa's ear being unblocked.
so she actually called 4 a sectional outin.
but in e end lyk only e sec3s n 1 sec 2.
n i wuld lyk 2 honour tt sec2 guy who came n he was yug han =)
e rest jus went off givin some lame excuses n in e end heaven was nt on 1 of their side,
n we saw one of them wif his frens.
ok so in e end we went 2 banquet 2 eat..
then aft tt we went 2 buy bubble tea..
then aft tt met wif e rest of the batch to go ecp.
as usual cos zhiyi is lyk so obsessed wif ddr.
i shuld nt hv said tt i wanted 2 play tt..
nw..he's hooked onto it.lol.
then i was being a gd girl as i didnt spend money on ddr.
but i spent $1 on puzzle bobble.
played wif joan n gab n i won!=D
heee..
hahas.
then aft tt went bowling..
n tt was when HELL came 4 me..
e 1st few tries were lyk..
i dunno wad but basically i was jus liftin e ball n throwin it down on e ground.=x
but aft tt i sort of gt warmed up n + joan's useful tips.
i managed to lyk at least hit a few pins.
n plus i was paired up wif gab who made me so stressed up n plus joan nic hilma all e pro pro ones..
n when it was my last game..
i totally embarrassed myself..
n made a laughin stock outa myself.
those who were ther will knoe..
too bad there's no vid 4 u 2 c.=x
hahas.

jus feel lyk sayin..
PIGGY PIGGY PIGGY!=x

blog l8r..
adios^^

2006-09-03T18:38:00.000+08:00

ok..yday was a ok day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 mr chia!=D
yea..we celebrated his bday as a band.
n we gt him a yellow teeny winy party hat.
he look kinda of cute as said by fiza.
hahas.
we played happy bday song but it ended up lyk..i dunno wad 2 say.
n i was supposed 2 played e constant 5 beats but i didnt cos i didnt knoe they were alrdy gona play.
sorry fiza!=(
ok then aft tt went 2 kfc 4 sectional lunch n we laughed until lyk dunno wad.
n e funny thing was rifat's nose sort of lyk bleed n he took e ice fr his ice milo n put it in his nose n everybody was lyk "gross..."
hahas.
aft tt went 2 buy bubble tea.
n i DIDNT buy.
nw i regretted..aiya..
n then i gave rifat $1 cos i owed him earlier.
then suddenly all of them started 2 ask me 2 giv them $1 also n said tt i wasnt fair.
hahas.hello ppl.tt's wad i owe him n i m nt givin him e $1.
lol.
then aft tt wanted 2 go popular then nobody wanted 2 go.
so no choice i went home instead.
n hv u ever heard of ppl waitin 4 their bus lyk 10 m awae fr e bus stop?
well u can ask mich n fiza.
hahas.
ok n thx mich 4 all e advice.
ok..
many things happened,n many r nt feelin tt right.
so 2 all these ppl,
cheer up n there will always b a beta day =)

adios^^

2006-09-01T13:38:00.000+08:00

ok..i finally hd time 2 blog aft sucha LONG TIME...
ok actually nth much 2 blog bout..yawns.
jus tt yday was rather tiring.
at 1st i was supposed 2 erm..meet kelly n then in e end she was 45 mins late so we took taxi all e way 2 tiong bahru plaza in order nt 2 make benjamin even more angry.=x.
met him n charles there then later saw ling zhen n eugene.
n in e end we hd 2 wait 4 lyk dunno hw long 4 eugene 2 finish his meal b4 goin 2 buy presents.
n i ended up choosin e presents when all of us were supposed 2 lyk choose 2gether.
so in e end we bought e same thing 4 3 of our teachers jus tt e design is diff.lol.
then went 2 find mrs singh,ms ng n mr chua.then we talked with them 4 SOOoo long..until we all turned into hungry ghosts n we said tt in 3 mins we can sweep out all e kiddies in e canteen.lol..ok i knoe tis is lame..
then aft tt supposed 2 lyk go out 4 awhile but in e end charles n benjamin stayed bhind 2 play badminton.so nvm..i,pt n win went 2 tiong bahru plaza.ate kfc n went 2 take neos.e 1st machine was horrible n i dun wish 2 say bout it but luckily e 2nd machine was beta..phew.. =)
ok then night time went out 2 celebrate my dad's bday.
we ordered lyk so many food,keep orderin n orderin..until i eat until wanna puke.=x
ok enough 4 yday,let's talk bout today.
later gt tuition then tml gt band.
anyway wuld lyk 2 wish dh papa HAPPY BDAY!=D
actually wanted 2 go out n celebrate de but in e end cancelled cos he cant make it..=(
ok..i m damn hungry.
printed al e sept hol assignment thingy..
sept hol is nt even hol..
haiz..
k blog tml ba..

adios ^^

2006-07-17T18:33:00.000+08:00

ok..i came up wif a BRILLIANT n PSYCHOTIC idea..

on my bday,i m nt gona receive any bday presents BUT..BUT..BUT..i m gona receive bday presents fr me myself..

hw nice..
hw lame..
hw psychotic..
hw brilliant..

n nw..i hv n omood 2 even celebrate my bday,choose bday presents or even looking 4ward 2my bday.cos its jus a bday aftall,n dere's nth much 2 do bout it plus my bday is durin exam period so might as well treat it as i hv no bday.n if i rmb,i did say tt i m sensitive 2 wad ppl say,so..ermm..wadeva ppl say will affect me.so yea..

2006-07-17T17:34:00.000+08:00

THE PAPER OF MY LIFE.
hd my o level listenin compre today.i THOUGHT it was gona b damn tough but to my surprise,it was rather ez.=D *smirks* i,rw n jiajia hd e same ans thruout n we DIDNT copy kae.so we INFERED tt we culd lyk get full marks bah.hehheh..oh yea we hd tis really big n long n heavy radio for our listening compre.n then our radio started 2 hv prob n at e las min,our sch technician gt e radio changed n e whole class clapped!tt's was e nicest thing of e day.=D overall,e listening compre was erm..EASY!(jus tricky here n dere).
RUBBISH DUMP CLEANER?
our dear fren jiajia today went 2 throw sum1's bag in e dustbin which led 2 me n rw 2 go to e tk rubbish dump 2 go dig out everything.=D [ok..i knoe i n rw r kind but tt's nt impt.=x] n we went 2 search high n low but to NO AVAIL..so guess jiajia jus hv 2 compensate 4 e person's losses.but it's nt her fault entirely.
TEST N TESTS N MORE TESTS!
tis wk will b rather a bz wk 4 me cos i hv lotsa tests.n i gt lotsa chi hw which i owe my cher.=x.hahas.so i wun b bloggin tt often..sorry bout tt..cos i knoe u will miss me n i will miss u!..

ok..tt was crap.
but i certainly will miss u if u r my blog's constantly reader.
=D hope u get wad i mean.
BYE n enjoy ure days!

2006-07-16T08:43:00.000+08:00

BORED OR INSANE/PSYCHO?
changed my blog song AGN..i dunno wad's with me but i jus cant seem to settle wif a song.its either i m bored,spendin too much time on blogger resulting in me changing e songs frequently OR i m jus turnin psycho or mentally insane cos i lyk my blog song 2 b sad.HAHAS.
judging fr wad i said..,i guess i m a bit of both huh?
THE SIREN HAS RUNG.
ok..i m hvin a curfew nw..sighs.gotta report home asap when my sch or aft sch lessons end.so i wun b goin out 2 eat maggi anymore.=( haiz..i hate tis.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ok fr my previous posts,u mus b tinkin tt i m crazy,eccentric wadever wadever bla bla.but i can teel u tt i m nt.i m jus hvin my split tt's all.i will b beta n i will try 2 tink more positive n i will as wad i promised zenas er zi.gona hv tuition soon..oh yea.i woke up super early today.even earlier than my parents,my sis n my maid.so tis shows tt my maid ought 2 get FIRED.hw can she wake up late when she's supposed 2 prepare bfast 4 all of us?!its nt surprisin cos my parents treat her as gold,n treat me n my sis as maids.orderin us 2 wash plates etc.hw IRONICAL.today will b a homework plus revision day.i SWEAR i m really gona do my work n revise cos its time i wake up.=D

2006-07-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

currently,there r some who pisses me off badly.
n let me tell u,
dun tink i m ur a dog,
come 2 me when u hv troubles,
keep things away fr me n expect me 2 find out myself or worst,tell me when things hv worsen n expect me 2 solve it 4 u.
i m nt 1 hu can b pleased easily,i admit tt.
n u BETA nt tell me things las min cos that REALLY PISSES ME OFF.
read my lips,
i said it PISSES ME OFF.
i jus hate it.
its either u tell me early or u jolly well dun appear infront of me.
i m jus puttin up wif some ppl's acts.
n 1 day i shall jus explode infront of those who pisses me off.
i can b very nice to u if u r nice to me,
so u beta stop tellin lies 2 me,
stop givin me empty promises,
i m nt an idiot.
i m very sensitive 2 wad's happening arnd me.
u hv a life,
i hv a life.
so stop makin things difficult 4 me.

FUCK.

2006-07-15T14:35:00.000+08:00

struggling n still struggling..

2006-07-15T13:36:00.000+08:00

when ppl giv me empty promises,
it PISSES me off.
n i esp hate ppl who tell me their plans LAST MIN.
everybody r givin me empty promises includin my parents.
so nw u kone hw shitty my life is.y cant i lyk b any other normal child who gets wad they want?
i cant even lyk get wad i want n i m nt wanting 4 more.
i jus dun get a shit fr them,nt even on my bday.
n its nt as if i alrdy asked for alot.
the thing is i didnt even ask alot from them.
some ppl say tt they hate their parents when they actually get so many thngs fr them.
lyk wad ppl say,
"sheng zai fu zhong bu zhi fu."
i m always tryin 2 feel positive but i failed time n time agn.
i always thought i m movin but in the end i jus find myself back at e startin pt.
n e feeling SUCKS.
some r tryin 2 comfort me but somehw i jus feel e same or even worst.
cos e reason is i simply suck.
i lie to them sayin i m feelin beta when i m nt.
i used 2 b e 1 who goes arnd comfortin ppl n nw when i m troubled,i cant even comfort myself.
hw ironical..
n i dun lyk ppl 2 have very high hopes on me.
cos i can easily make one's hopes shatter.
cos i simply suck..
n i m struggling wif every breath 2 keep myself alive..

2006-07-15T13:11:00.000+08:00

changed my blog song.
tis song brings back bad memories-of the 10 days i suffered.
240 hrs,14400 mins and 864000 s.
ok..tt is over.
actually,i m sufferin almost every single day nw.
n some ppl r happy.

yday went rock climbing.was so fun.i was GLAD i didnt end up wif some other ppl.
nicholas ng taught me hw 2 belay while wei rong taught rui wen hw 2.
my teacher is gd n tt's y i learnt quite fast =D.
thx!=)
hahas.
today morning is shitty.
gt scolding 4 no hell reason.
1st gt scolded by my mum then my dad.
my sis was lucky as she went 2 sch.
HMPH!
but nvm.
i m alone at home nw.
i feel so gd out of a sudden..
lol..i m eccentric.
anyway,kind souls pls tell me any sad songs u knoe k?
cos i m sad enough n i wann alisten 2 sad songs. =)

2006-07-12T19:12:00.000+08:00

HEYHEY!
the shitty girl who has a shitty life is here posting!=D

hmm..things r lyk..er..hmm..?eh..still e same?or shuld i say gettin worst?
*sighs*
mayb i shuld do wad some ppl spread bout me since they alrdy hv a bad impression of me..ok..tis is such a weird idea of mine..but cant help it cos i m turnin eccentric.

ok..i m veri stressed up these few days..dunno y..i will b hvin regular mood SWINGS n i will often speak w/o tinkin 4 others.so if i hv offended u in anyway.., im sorry =).
hahas.ok..
erm 4 today..nth really happened..jus tt i did tis shitty amaths quiz and then tis emaths quiz which was even more shittier..ok i m gona flunk all the quizzes..
*sighs*

today hd o level chi oral..n it was lyk erm..i tink i shuldnt say..cos i m LOST FOR WORDS.
HAH.
jus nw wanted 2 wait 4 darling jiajia liang teh n i DID waited..but waited 4 lyk erm..more than 2 hrs?then aft tt somehw i,jia jia n jl went 2 nina's hse dere 2 do balloon sculpting at kembangan cc.then saw my psch fren..

ok gtg.hahas

2006-07-10T06:04:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO!!!
ITALY WON!!
i m so proud of them can!=D
e match was so interestin n nerve-wreckin.
hahas.
i still feel so happy 4 them,
dunno hw 2 recover 2 my normal self..=x
OMG..
ITALY WON!!!!!
wo mei kan quo yan.=D
i LOVE ITALY!

2006-07-09T09:45:00.000+08:00

rmb..i said earlier tt i was hvin my tuition soon..?
my tuition tcher said he wuld b comin at 9.15am..
n e time nw is nearing to 10am..
waste my time waitin 4 him..
he pisses me off..

ARGH!

2006-07-09T09:21:00.000+08:00

jus did my ace-learning emaths quiz..
n i so totally suck at it.
i gt lyk 55%?
ok..i know tt's shit.
wad 2 do.
i m a sucker,therefore i suck at everything..
nex wk is gona b so shitty..!
tml hvin amaths level test n i m soo gona flunk it..
nv even teach us coordinate geo n it is 2 b tested..
say wad learn ourselves..,if we can learn ourselves..do we even need to go 2 sch n pay 4 teachers to teach us?
i hate exponential graphs n linear law..
then tml hvin ss presentation..
trust me,i knoe nuts bout my presentation n e contents of it.=D
so i m aso lyk gona fail my ss ca2 marks.
but tml will b a EXCITING day cos..i m gona screw my amaths paper n ss presentation n..there's e final world cup match!!!
WOOHOO.
n i m SURE gona stay up n watch..
italy or france?
hmm..
hw excitin my day will b tml..
then wed will hv my gce mt oral o level.=D
n i didnt read up or practise..
ok..then..
wed gt emaths test..
i m so gona fail it too!
then FRI..
can go ROCK CLIMBING wif my frens.
cool?
fun?
lol..
i duno..
hvin tuition soon..
very soon..
aft tt..,i will probably mug 4 my test tml i TINK.
erm..did i say i was nt gona study 4 it?*oops*
aiyah..there's so many things 2 do..
SIAN//..

3 more mths(including july) n its my bday.
i knoe its nt gona b a very happy one or shuld i say its nt gona b a happy one..
cos i wun get 2 celeb it with my grp of closest frens..
haiz..
then..i hope i can still get 2 celeb it with dmavz n my frens who r wif me nw.
will my bday b a gd n happy one..?

2006-07-08T20:39:00.000+08:00

i m so tired..i kept slpin today.
so its lyk my day today is useless?n hmm..meaningless?
ok,i dun tink by tellin u tt my today is wasted is constructive in anyway..
my head is foreva spinning nw..
argh!
today is hwee san's bday.
happy bday to her.
oh yea..i hv a whole new list of e things i want 4 my bday =D.
ok..i m turnin totally eccentric..
-.-''

2006-07-07T18:38:00.000+08:00

ok..i sort of gained conscious alrdy.
i tink e hospital is waitin 4 me 2 go visit her..
haiz..
nw i knoe hw hard it is 2 accept reality.
living in e world of lies r lyk...haiz.
u lie to urself n u will feel happy bout it,
n then its jus so suddenly tt a voice in u will remind u tt u r lyin 2 urself.
n u will b so hurt 2 know tt u hv been lyin 2 urself all e while.
haiz..

2006-07-06T19:38:00.000+08:00

ok..i m feel so hurt nw..even my only hope has turned me down..
wad's life 4 me nw?

2006-07-06T18:48:00.000+08:00

ok...actually i wanted 2 blog earlier or in fact i did blog 1 but deleted it in e end since i was no longer in e mood 2 cont. writing..haiz..
i wanted 2 say tt yday's tkgs band concert was fabulous n i totally enjoyed it.i love e miss saigon,sat nite n on-call piece -if we hold on 2gether.

actually nwadays i really dunno wad 2 write or post cos dere's nth tt excites or interest me nw.my world is gone,my hopes r dashed..i may seem happy-always laughing etc.but u tink i m happy?i know i hv no rights at all to actually lyk tell e world wad i m feeling but i jus hope by blogging,i can put all my unhappiness n troubles across 2 GOD since there's lyk no1 hu really understands me or shuld i say there's actually no1 hu can comfort or cheer me up.i knoe i hv always been lyk complainin bout hw sucky my life is,if i were to keep everything 2 myself,i assure u tt 1 day i will jus jump off e building when i cant take it.at least by venting out or tellin some of u,i feel a tiny weeny bit beta but ever wonder hw long tis tiny weeny bit of happiness last?it jus las 4 a moment n e nex moment i will back 2 my normal n sad self.i can choose nt 2 tell any1 bout hw i m feeling.i can do it cos nw,i hv learnt so many life lessons.u only hv urself to trust n no1 else.nt even ur beloved,nt even ur closest fren.there wil b 1 day when they betray u inside out n hurt ur feelings so much tt u can nv ever 4get bout it e rest of ur life.the feeling n hurt is stuck wif u wherever u go until u die.

"GOD gave me 2 boxes,1 golden n black.he asked me 2 put all my happiness into the golden box n all my unhappiness in the black 1.as days goes by,i lifted the golden box n found it so heavy,n then i lifted the black 1 n found it 2 be so light.i opened e black box only to find tt there is a hole at e bottom.i then asked GOD why it was so light.GOD replied tt he wants me 2 hv all the happiness n 4 all my unhappiness,he will take it all away fr me.he wants 2 take the unhappiness away fr me n into his hands of glory."

i came tis across somewhere n i found it so meaningful.but i dun tink it works for me.no matter hw hard i pray,i always feel e same n in fact i feel worst when ppl jus dun understand me n talk 2 me as though they understand me when they dun.nw,even GOD cant handle my unhappiness.i jus hope n wish tt GOD can jus take aways all my pain n sufferings n let me rest peacefully.some ppl can b so carefree n me?wad did i do to deserve all tis n wad hv i done to my frens tt i deserve all tis treatment fr them.some jus say things which r untrue,when they didnt c it wif their own eyes.ppl r always lyk tt.

haiz.many in e world r wishin n hopin tt they wun die so early cos they wuld lyk 2 see e beautiful world.but there's always tis girl in e corner hu is always wishing n hoping tt she can die early.she wake up every morning n ask herself y is she still alive.i seriously hope tt i wun recover n perhaps 1 day jus go into a coma.i knoe its selfish,veri selfish of me.but tt's e only way i will feel beta?or mayb it will make ppl relent on wad they hv done.mayb i hd been too naive all the while or shuld i say 4 all my life.i dunno wad's e meaning of life nw n i guess life has no meanin 4 me nw.some choose 2 b happy n destroy others.y?i jus dun understand.i jus hope ppl will understand me.but unfortunately,no1 does.

haiz.anyway,i will lyk 2 thank all those hu hv been wif me all e while eversince e thing happened 2 me.thanks 4 believing in me n may GOD bless u..

2006-07-04T19:57:00.000+08:00

ok..as u hv seen,i changed my blogskin ALRDY..
i m too tired nw 2 edit e colour of my links n 2 do the "the agenda" part.
YAWNS.

2006-07-04T18:31:00.000+08:00

ok..hvin tis terrible headache nw.
it started aft sch n it was gettin worst..haiz..
tt's wad i call urm..hmm..retribution?

anyway i m SOOo gona change tis blogskin as i find it so DISGUSTING n it totally pisses me off whenever i visit my blog.*disgusted*
i found some rather nice blogskins but sort of lyk urm..dunno which 1 to choose?
so nw i m stil stuck at choosing e blogskin.hmm..

ok sch was ok today except tt we did so much amaths n physics today..
OH GOD.i m goin crazy or i alrdy m..haiz.
ok.then today there was split mercury in e sink n i was stupid enough 2 go 2 e sink dere n breathe n i guess of course i took in some mercury vapour.LOL.

anyway i m so lyk dunno wad my ss proj gona b lyk.hmm..
nvm i mus hv confidence in my grp leader-some1 who quacks.
moving on...urm..

OK!I M SO EXCITED TT I M GOIN 4 A CONCERT TML!but tt's nt e fun or excitin part..guess wad?
.
..
...
....
.....
....
...
..
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I M GOIN WIF MY DARLING TING TING!wahahas.
she's sick n hope she's doin well nw.
i cant wait till tml!
n KELLY TAN LILI says she wants flowers tml!ARGH.
where gt ppl go ask ppl go buy flowers de?
nvm.
i n my darling r veri kind souls so we shall go buy her some flowers n gifts.=D

oh yea.did i tell u tt i hv a "date" wif my chi cher early in e mornin tml?!
OMG.means i m lyk gona leave freaking early which means i gotta wake up freaking freaking early tml!
ARH!!..
ok..
i gotta go do my work nw.
hvin my gce o level chi oral nex wk.
wish me luck =).

n b4 i go..i m so proud tt i took so long 2 decide on my new blogskin..
LOL.

anyway my belayer is sort of sick 4 very long n he came all e way down 2 b my belayer.
get well soon.=))

ok gotta go..
tired,sick n troubled..

HAIZ..

2006-07-03T18:22:00.000+08:00

my blogskin is abit down nw.cant really view it or is my com down?hmm..
anyhw.i m all sweaty n tired nw,came back fr indoor rock climbing.
i m so proud of myself.*clap clap*
i did sort of the 3rd station w/o even warming up at the so called "junior" station.hahas.so i m so proud of myself.ok..
but when i did the 3rd station at 1st,it was rather embarrassing as i only went halfway up n i dropped.
LUCKILY,i gt a gd belayer.=D.if nt i wuld hv lyk died dere?
then aft tt i gt sort of lyk my ego has gone down..then i tried the "junior" one n i went up all e way 2 e top,quite fast la.
there were sort of 4 "junior" stations n i did all.so i can say i m a rather gd climber?hahas.
then went to tis lyk less than 90 degrees 1 n then halfway perpendicular to the ground n then less than 90 degrees agn.*hope u can visualise or get wad i mean*
so i did it quite well i guess?my belayer was cheering me on n tellin me which stones to reach out for.
then went 2 try e boulderin wan but only found myself dropping onto the mattress umpteen times.=x
it was then i realized i culdnt do bouldering yet.i needa hv MUSCLES.
which i obviously dun.hahas.
so i went on doin the others.
spent lyk arnd 2 hrs dere?
was really tired n my FINGERS r red n aching nw.*sobs*

then aft tt left climb adventure n i swore 2 myself tt i m gona go there soon another time!n oh ya.i learnt hw 2 tie the figure 8 knot n a double one n hw 2 tie it 4 the climber n i also learnt hw 2 belay!so nex time if u r interested 2 go climbing with me,pls do tell me!n i can belay u provided u r below45 kg or 45 kg and plus if you are confident in me for belaying u!=)

i spent my 2006 youth day fruitfully!
thanks belayer!

2006-07-03T11:29:00.000+08:00

i read a blog of a cancer patient.her everyday life,hw she struggled wif the chemo n her treatment etc.unfortunately she passed away jus 1 mth ago.
a young n pretty lady,tortured by cancer but struggled 2 live on n make her days meaningful.jus imagine u r only left wif perhaps a mth 2 live.hw wuld u spend ur days?ever thought of tis qn?well.tis cancer patient spend her everyday blogging bout her condition n soon she gt so sick until she culdnt blog anymore.she lived on so bravely..
=(

2006-06-26T18:40:00.000+08:00

anyway,i guessed i m having my retribution now.
but jus what have i done wrong to deserve all this?
haiz.
if only everything was a dream...

2006-06-26T18:28:00.000+08:00

imagine you are with someone-one whom you love so dearly w/o any conditions.
one day,ppl are trying to break e both of u up,saying all sorts of mean comments bout u n ur partner lyk "they are nt meant to be 2gether" etc.
ppl talk behind ur back and claim the contents as "hot news" and the "hot news" spread lyk wild fire.

how will u feel?
jus ask urself,will u ever want ppl to do e same thing 2 u?
will u ever bring urself to accept the ugly truth tt even ur closest friends betrayed u?

ok..i dun really know what i m tokin bout.well,as what i hv said,pls have a stand on ur own,what others say r nt definitely true,u hold the power to decide whether u choose to believe the rumours or to go with the crowd which is of course a stupid choice.
if u dun lyk me,jus tell me straight in the face,you dun hv to go spread things bout me.
my reputation is ruined nw,
you are smiling now arent' u?

2006-06-22T21:40:00.000+08:00

u tink i m carefree,i tell u i m nt.
u tink i m happy,i tell u i m nt.

u hate me,i know.
u dislyk me,i know.
u do things behind me,i know.

y cant u al jus leave me alone?
u wanna c me die infrnt of u b4 u can leave me alone issit?
jus wad do u want fr me b4 u will stop?
i hv nth left.
my hopes r dashed.
jus leave me alone.
pls..

2006-06-20T10:30:00.000+08:00

haiz.suddenly nt in a gd mood nw..
jus a word of "hate" can cause a person's life 2 b so diff or in fact cause a person's life 2 change drastically.
alot of ppl choose 2 listen 2 only 1 side of e story rather than both.
n they always listen n go with e majority.

i say sth,u say another,another person say another thing n tell another person n then 2 another n so on.
things will of course get worst.
or shuld i sae e CONTENTS of e conversation gets worst.
i jus wish 2 tell everyone out dere tt dun always listen 2 1 side of e story.
b urself n hv ur own stand n nt let others ctrl ur mind.

ok..i dunno wad i m tokin but i guess some of u out dere will knoe wad i m tokin bout.
i fu despise me nw due 2 some things tt other ppl say,so be it.
cos i can only say tt u r naive n tt u hv no stand of ur own.
u dun hv 2 show me tt u dun lyk me.
cos neither do i wan 2 knoe.
jus imagine ppl r goin arnd spreading untrue things bout u.
hw will u feel?
even ur closest fren has left u n u r left with no1 2 confide in except 4 some other friends whom u dun even knoe whetehr they will betray u some day.
ppl jus need 2 really sit down n reflect upon themselves.
haiz.

2006-06-16T09:55:00.000+08:00

ok i m nw feelin beta cos england is doin much beta in world cup nw..
lol.

2006-06-16T09:05:00.000+08:00

parents didnt allow me 2 go 4 band today.
it's lyk wtf.
jus becos i gt 2 stay at home 2 do my homework.
receive some smses,tt person didnt sound tt well so i called.
n then wad i get was lyk silence.
its only lyk 9.03am in e morning.
n my morning is ruined.

wtf.

2006-06-15T12:54:00.000+08:00

i m so hungry nw..
ROAR!
suddenly super high nw..=x
heard tt brazil and england nt doin well.
its lyk wad the hell la.
my hopes r lyk gona b dashed la.
they beta buck up soon!
ARGH!.
oh yea.
later goin p.t 's hse!
YAY!!
at home so bored can.
at least can go crap at her hse.
but we r goin 2 do maths aso.
LOL.
but nvm so as long i can get out of my hse.
HEH HEH..

2006-06-15T10:44:00.000+08:00

i am back.
i didnt do any work at all.
hahas.
i ended up reading ppl's blogs n uploading some pics.
oh yea.
anyway,can any1 tell me e results for world cup?pls?
it's lyk band camp made me miss alot of matches until nw i cant even lyk get on e mood 2 watch other matches.
ROAR!
i cant bring myself 2 really sit down n concentrate on doing my homework and projs.
i wanna go sum1 hse 2 play la.
trying to contact p.t , then nv rep.
its so boring stayin at home can..
ARGH.
anyway..
i hope i m goin on a shopping spree on sun.
hope la.
provided i gt e $$.
hopefully i can get a bag or sth.
oh yea.
sun mus take pics aso.
hahas.
arh!!!
cant any1 jus lyk sms me or sth.
i m damn freaking bored la.
want 2 meet up with frens aso cant.
SIAN LA!